A Strange Journey
by kessy63
Summary: A man disillusioned at the end of his life is offered a deal from the shadow love what would you do? some death, transgender, of course Missy owns the Valdemar Universe we just play here. we do this with no monetary gain all other characters are mine
1. Chapter 1

A Strange Journey

The blood mage stands over the eight year old body of Essly her body clinging to its last breath. All other life on the farm gone like smoke she was the last to be found in the cellar with the roots and cured hams. The self-styled mage Pitch's mouth smiles as he leaves the hole of the body he just ripped the soul out of, unlike other blood mages he eats the souls they cease to exist never to move on never to see the afterlife. He waves his hand at the barn door opening and a gate forms as it winks out Essly body draws its last breath.

Shadow lover appears and reaches for the soul to end the suffering and move her to the afterlife. His eyes spark with rage and he lifts his hand, time stops all life freezes the trees stop there swaying in the breezes the air locked in immovable chains. He picks up the shell of Essly and walks up the stairs to the yard laying her on the grass he stands and calls out Brothers and Sisters. Looking over he sees his sister the Stareyed of the Plains, Saul of Karse, Erril of Iftel, and the Twane twin gods male and female from Rethwellan.

What can we do for you lord death the Stareyed asks with a small smirk.

He points to the child's body and they all move to look the smile falls off her face.

What have you done shouts Erril looking at death ready to punch him in the face?

Death looks at him the brother he least likes, I found her like this. The twins speak in harmony at the same time, the mage had help.

Death looks and tells them yes.

Only you have the power to do this Stareyed looks at him with a frown.

On Velgrath yes but I did not help that evil human do this.

A god from off world? Saul thought to all there. He then looked at the body and traced the timelines forward his eyes glowing like the sun he was the god of. This cannot stand he looks at them and then tells Death to fix this.

That is why I called you all, death tells them, I can't the soul no longer walks the planes there is nothing to call back. Without her this mage may destroy this world.

How can we help brother?

Paul was on the way to work 53 years old and still trying to make a difference working with vets. Many nights going without sleep looking into another way to fund projects that are cut at alarming rates. His mind on the latest disaster budget cuts up to 50% in western MA. Looking back after checking the rearview mirror the car in the oncoming lane is heading at him at 70 miles an hour. Time slows down Paul knows he is about to die people say you see your life flash before your eyes not Paul. His vision tunnels, the lady slumped over the wheel already gone he watches as the cars slam together and his body moves forward, the airbag not deploying and his chest hitting the steering wheel then a bright light. As he looks around he is standing in a vast corridor stretching to infinity the light he saw as he died now down about a mile, which was Paul's guess knowing that measurements meant nothing here. Walking forward he spots a figure standing halfway to his goal. As he reaches the young man dressed all in white he hears a lovely voice almost like music.

A moment of your time Paul, I have a proposal for you. You can proceed to your afterlife and move on or you can go with me and make a difference in the life of an entire world.

Smiling Paul looks at death so you are here to tempt me the serpent offering the apple? We are between time and space only a few can come here and I am not your Satan. Only your Thanatos from your world can tread here.

My world, then where are you from?

A place much like your word only century behind in science, steeped in magic. He waves his hand and I see a side corridor and another light. I have asked for and gotten Thanatos's premising to talk with you and offer a different path.

Paul always loved a good sword and wizard story looked at death and smiles. I can't wait to hear this.

Shadow walker waves his hand and two chairs appear Paul notices' that one chair is in his corridor and one is in the side corridor that death has been in the whole time. He tells him of the young girl and how her soul was destroyed and the great need for her to do great things in his world. Will you take her place?

What do you mean take her place?

Death looks a little bit unconfutable I would place your essence in her body and you would live on my world and hopefully make a difference.

Looking at death I tell him that I do not wish to lose who and what I am.

He shakes his head what you ask for is very difficult to do. There are reasons why we should not do this, the tech as you call it could do more harm than good.

Paul looks at death, a middle ground then, all tech above the level of your world will be removed you can replace it with the closest thing from your world but my memories of people places and things will remain all my skills all my knowledge will remain.

Death shakes his head while we sit here I have five gods holding an entire world motionless you are the only one to come down the hall that is remotely similar to her soul. He raises a hand. So be it, however all conversation and knowledge between the time of your death and waking up in your new body you will forget. All you will know is that you were asked and accepted this duty. You will be unable to tell anyone that you are from another world and at the end of your life you will be judged by the gods of my universe.

Paul stands reaches out extending his hand and Death shakes it. Paul looks and there is only one corridor now the chairs are gone and they are getting closer to the light although they are not moving.

Death looks at him, thank you, you will be in a lot of discomfort I can give you the language but you will be limited to the vocabulary of an eight year old border child. The light engulfs them and Paul sees five glowing figures standing around a small form on the ground.

Stareyed looks at Death and then at the small body on the ground. We are all responsible for this action. A pack then, if she asks for help in our lands we can intervene as we see fit but only to keep her alive long enough to stop this mage and find out who has stepped on our world. If this god aides this human piece of filth we are free to help her in any way we chose. She looks around and all agree then they start winking out and only she is there with death. Smiling she grabs his shoulder interesting solution how did you talk the earth gods into this?

Death looks at the small form; he was an atheist I only had to get Thanatos to agree and he owed me a favor for helping him in Egypt.

Well I dare say he is a believer now, she takes her hand away and is gone.

Death smiles, good luck Paul and time starts up again.


	2. Chapter 2

Hope to see some reviews it keeps me going I made a mistake with the rating didn't know the browser dropped m, as always Missy Lackey is the owner of this world she just lets us throw a few ideas around

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Chapter 2

All I feel is pain both legs and my right arm below the elbow my head is fuzzy. All I can think is how am I not dead from two runaway wagons hitting me? I steel myself and open my eyes. Black hair so dark it looks like it is streaked with a deep blue covers my left eye, out of the right I see a figure on a white horse coming like death is chasing him. That's a strange thought I don't know where that came from but my lips turn up in a smile as I pass out.

Opening my eyes I feel a back and forth movement a pushing on my mind a pressure right behind my eyes and then the full stop and a young man maybe 22 comes into view all dressed in white dirty blond hair deep blue eyes. I find myself falling into them as he puts his hand on my brow to brush away my hair from my eyes.

How are you doing my little raven? I try to sit up but I am strapped to the litter. None of that, you have two broken femurs, also a break in the arm below the elbow, a nasty whack to the back of your head and we are in the middle of nowhere. My name is Del can you tell me yours?

At this point I am stuck. I can't tell him Paul so I just say I can't remember. He smiles down at me that's alright I will just call you Raven until you remember. I strapped your legs and arm to some boards back at the farm. I didn't know there were homesteaders this deep into Sorrows. I cleared my throat and he reached up to get a water skin and held it to my mouth.

Thank you and as I am saying it the sound of my voice startles me. Like a small wounded bird. I smile, a broken Raven Del has named me right.

He asks me about the farm and the people on it. I can feel a pushing in my head again but I stick to my story and tell him I don't know, it is the truth. Somehow I know that I cannot ever tell anyone about coming from another world.

We move at a snail's pace he tells me he has a little foresight. Two days ago he saw a man attack a farmstead, jumped onto Griff's saddle and rode like hell, only you were left. For a while I thought I would be putting you on the pyre with your family but that night you just turned around. The gods must like you young bird.

It was the longest four days of my life. As we pulled into house of healing green robes move all around me.

I hear Del say; only she, as a kind woman places her hand on my head and the world goes black.

Opening my eyes I'm in a room with whitewashed walls with no windows and a lamp lit on the table. The nice woman is sitting reading a book that she puts down as she sees me moving. Where am I?

Waymeet dear. We have run into a bit of a snag. We had to set and put your legs and arm in casts. Normally we can fuse the bones and help the healing but your shields are to strong. We tried everything even drugging you but we still had no luck. All of the healers and the three heralds tried to breach you shields to no avail. We are to get you stable and ready for transport. You have peeked a lot of people's curiosities.

Sorry, I smile at her and she pats my good arm. Not your fault, let the grownups worry about it your job is to get better. My name is Patty, Del and I will be bringing you to haven. Let me get you something to eat.

It is the first time I am alone. I look at my small hand and arm. Moving the blanket off I see both legs in cast all the way up to my waist. That was going to have some logistical problems for the foreseeable future. It was bad enough when I only had boards strapped to my legs using the privy was never happening. I hope they have bed pans here was the thought rolling around in my head as Patty came in with chicken soup.

What do you know I guess grandma was right, it really is the cure all and on two worlds. Patty helped me up putting a pillow behind me and then setting the tray on my lap. Looking at the wooded spoon I clumsily ate with my left hand.

Patty helped me clean up guess you are right handed. I shrug and smile. She pats my head and removes the tray. Try to get some more sleep we are leaving at first light. She picks up the lamp and walks out closing the door.

Everything seems so real. Am I dreaming, am I dead? I remember taking a deal but for the life of me I can't remember who asked me. Staring into the dark I have a warm comforting feeling as if someone is keeping an eye on me. Goodnight I whisper, I will do my best. It feels like two arms wrap around me as I fall asleep.

The next day four people in blue came in and helped me onto a stretcher carrying me out to a wagon with no wheels floating three feet off the ground. My eyes are like saucers. Magic, it's all I can say, like the small child I look like. My good hand rubs the side of the box. As they set me in it sways a little. They bring out this massive draft horse and hook him up. Everything looks massive when you are in the body of an eight year old but this thing was the size of a Clydesdale.

Ready to hit the road little raven? Dal has Griff tacked up and his packs are in the bed with me. Griff reaches over and lips my left hand his nose feels like velvet a smile is on my face.

Yes I tell him as Patty steps up to sit with me in the bed. One of the blue men has gotten in the front and picked up reins. He flicks them and makes a clicking sound and we are moving forward. We made good time and two weeks later we were at westmark. There was a tarp almost like a covered wagon to keep the rain off Patty and me. At night Del and Peter the guard slept underneath when it rained or when we had to sleep between waystations or towns.

Time to resupply Del tells us as we pull into something out of the old west. Twenty to thirty two story buildings with farms stretching out in all directions.

How many people live here I ask Patty in a small voice?

She looks at me and smiles in town, sixty to seventy. I know more people than you have ever seen. Just you wait haven is a hundred times bigger.

Del came back smiling. I got us two rooms on the first floor and there is a bard here.

Looking at Patty with pleading eyes I ask if I can stay up?

Del ruffles my hair. You can have the room closest to the tap room.

Patty rolls her eyes. Great I get to listen to a bunch of drunks all night.

Master Pell runs a respectable inn once the bard stops the farmers will head home. They have to be up at first light.

So don't we, Patty mumble as two farmers come out with Peter to help me into the inn. Del brought the bard back to see me. He had him try to get through my shields with his gift. I felt all the things he projected however when he pushed all I felt was a brush it was smoother than when Del or Patty tried but he got no farther than anyone else.

We have been on the road for a little over four weeks now I am so sick of willow bark tea. Patty does not want to give me anything stronger and because of my shields she can't put any pain blocks on me. Some days I was in tears it hurt so much but the last week has been better and today Del told me we will be seeing haven. Peter told me he would turn the wagon around so I can see it when we get there. We have become a tight little group and I know that for the rest of this life I will be indebted to these three people. Not because of being totally dependent on them for food, shelter, even helping me to go to the bathroom. But because they did it with love, ya I look like an adorable little girl but I have seen firsthand some care givers, they do their job and never get emotionally invested. It's a way to protect them self from the pain of loss but the best always accepts the pain. Never flinching even looking at you and seeing death looking back.

Peter turns the wagon; people have stopped to let him swing the 180 degrees. looking with smiles on their faces as they watch me look for the first time on Haven. Patty was right it took up the whole valley. From the rise we could hear the ding of people moving, smoke from homes, and business. There are two walls, the outer with a line of people going in and out, and the inner holding a massive building with three others close together with a huge green space off to the side of the biggest building.

Haven, Del says and in that one word I hear HOME, FAMILY, and LOVE. A smile plays on his face only ten hours away. I look at him and frown. Unless you can fly like your name sake it will take all of that to wind our way through that quagmire.

Patty smiles, at least we are not going by the tanners.

Thank the twain for that Peter tells us as he turns 180 again and we start down the road to the next great adventure.

My head is on a swivel looking and taking it all in. I have found that although I retain all myself I act and think like an eight year old. It must have to do with the brain development in my new body. Intellectually I have a great deal of knowledge with a life time of experiences behind me. But I have the attention of a small child that sometimes finds the littlest thing funny. We finally make it to the second wall and a guard in blue with silver trim with a smile. He tells Del, welcome home then looks at him to introduce the rest of us.

Gary I have the honor to present Healer Patrice, Guard Peter and Raven.

He writes all that down and swings open the steel gates and waves us through, welcome to Haven.

The first stop is healers where I am unloaded and moved into a white room with a window overlooking the garden. Del and Peter follow Patty into the room.

Peter takes my good hand in his, good luck little one.

My eyes tear, don't go.

I must. I have to bring back Thor and the wagon to Waymeet. It's where my post is but you can write me.

I don't know how I say in a small voice. It was true I had the language but not the written word. I would need to learn how to read and write.

Del and I will help you till you learn. I am staying for a while they had asked me to teach young Healers. I was going to head in to haven in the fall you just moved the timetable up for me a few weeks and gave me a more comfortable ride.

Del looks at me and smiles I'm always coming and going but this is home I always return so don't worry little one you can't get rid of me.

At this time another meeting was taking place. Six glowing figures stood in front of a white stallion at a fallen down temple. Rollin, Death inclines his head after giving him a nod.

 _What do I owe for_ _the pleasure of this visit_ the companion thinks at them?

Stareyed laughs I have missed you old friend.

He snorts looking at _her let's just get this over with_.

Kill joy the Twain say at the same time. There is a young girl in healers we need for her to be chosen.

 _When you called me into being I was given autonomy there is no one true way here in Valdemar in this I have the last say._

All true Death nods. However we felt that you should know what we just dumped in your meadow. With that he showed him the gifts that Raven has and that they were already opening.

Rollin's eyes open as it hits him how dangerous this little girl will be in the next few years. They also let him see the in tacked soul with its old life's memories. _That will be the first to go_ he thunders in their minds.

Stareyed smiles at Saul, told you, I win.

Death rolls his eyes can we keep on track. Looking back at Rollin, you can try but his mind is protected by all six of us.

He stars at Death _THIS IS WRONG!_

Desperate times and all that, we needed him and a bargain was struck. Stareyed roughs his mane there are limits placed on him and with a soul bond she can be guided. We need her and we need your help _._

 _You all owe me_ , smiles around with nods they all leave but the Stareyed. The planes have not been the same without you my old steed _._

 _I sneak away every few hundred years_ he nozzles her hair.

Who will you pick?

He snorts _there really is only one choice_.

Until I see you again, chase the wind.

Rollin sends out a call and his son trots up _I know you are only eight and I have never sent any companion out to choose before ten years old but something has come up. I am sorry to cut short your childhood son._

I have been at healers for two weeks learning how to read and write. Patty is surprised at the speed I seem to be picking it up. To me it feels like it is taking forever.

Del comes in with a smile how would you like to go outside? He wheels in a lounge chair almost like a small settee.

I look at Patty, can I please.

One hour then right back. Del rolls the chair over and takes the side off it is the same height as the bed and Patty helps Del slide me over.

Would you like to see the gardens?

I look at him with big eyes. Can we visit Griff?

Sure sweetie I have to tell you something, I have to leave for a little while. The king needs me to run something to the border.

How long?

Six or seven weeks no time at all, He smiles at me and I see a white companion trotting over. As he gets closer I realize he is much too small for Griff. Del looks up as the young stallion bends over and looks me in the eyes. He has the most beautiful blue eyes and I feel myself falling into them.

A voice gets past my shields. _Hello Raven my name is Vallary and I chose you_. I feel something I have never felt before. Unconditional love, he will never leave me, hurt me, desert me. He will be the best friend I will ever have.

My hand is rubbing his face as I turn to Del. His name is Val I tell him with tears running down my cheeks.

They had to find me a new room one that Val could come and go as needed. The first few days are important for the bond to settle properly, close contact must be maintained. Needless to say the healers were of two minds about this. On the one hand they had a very big body moving in the house of healers. On the other hand there was now a way to get past my shields, they could use Val to send healing to me. They still could not read any thoughts but the road to the physical was now open.

With one hand on Val and the other on my waist Patty sent warm energy to the breaks in my legs. After she was done another healer took her place and I felt the same heat in my arm. It was the first time that the pain had stopped in almost seven weeks.

Del watched my face and the lines of pain melted away. He pulls away from me and tells me good job now rest shooing everyone out but Val. He lies down next to me and puts his head on the bed next to me. My hand reaches out to rest on the top of his noise.

 _Rest lovely_ I hear a faint voice in my head _the healer used your strength to heal you_.

My eyes open wide _Val is that you_ I think at him?

A soft chuckle comes from him _. Rest doing this to much will give you a massive headache_. Del looks in and sees me asleep my hand glued to Val with a big smile on my face.

Del comes back the next day with a small older herald she is slightly stooped over and walks with a cane not from old age but from some former injury. Raven I would like you to meet Dean Sharece. Val had stepped out to eat and take care of business as he put it.

The dean sat on the edge of my bed. Nice to meet you Raven. I need to ask you a few questions so I can place you in classes.

I don't remember anything from before I tell her in a small voice. Not even mommy or daddy. Del told me they have gone to the shadow lover's home and they don't hurt no more.

She seems a little thrown by that which is what I want; now she will be off guard for the rest of this. Can you do any math?

I know some like two and five is seven and thirteen takeaway two is elven.

She smiles at me I feel bad about this but I have to work up to excelling. Good good we are going to wait for a few weeks for your orientation class four companions left last week so hopefully we can get you out of here before they come back home with your year mates. Keep working with Healer Patty on your letters.

Yesum I tell her.

She pushes the hair behind my ear and smiles your job is to get better then we'll go from there.

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Feed back is good am going for a long story deep into the training years


	3. Chapter 3

same old same old. don't own anything except my characters the world we play in is Mercedes Lackey's

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Chapter 3

Three more days with two sessions of healing a day and they are cutting off my casts. My bond with Val keeps getting stronger. We can talk without touching within ten feet maybe more we will find out later today I have not been out of my room yet.

 _Wake up Ra Dean Sharece is coming_.

It was the first time sleeping without the casts. Although I can't weight bear yet I stretch like a little cat just as the Dean Walks in.

Big day little one she smiles as she walks in another herald is right behind her.

 _What did you do Val?_

 _I had to tell them about us talking Ra. You need to learn to ground and center and shield. I have been holding them on you but once you move out of healers it will be too hard, dad's been helping me. He told his chosen kings own Holt._

 _It's ok Val from what you have told me it's important to start learning I was just cot off guard._ I had a blank look in my eyes and the new herald notices.

Smiling he looks down at me, looks like we will be starting sooner Dean, we have a prodigy here.

Raven this is Kyle he works with all the trainees when there gifts start to show up.

Nice to meet you sir, I look at him and smile.

So formal little sister it's Kyle we are an informal bunch among our self's. Of course there are exceptions but you will learn all that in orientation. I'm going to put a shield up around the room, Val will you pull your shield?

 _Ready Ra he is going to talk to you like I do after I pull my shield._

 _Why did he talk to you out loud?_

 _We only talk to our chosen most of the time Ra it's one of the rules dad tries to pound into my head, ready?_

I nod my head and I hear a new voice in my head. _Can you hear me Raven?_

 _Yes Kyle how come Val talks in a different part of my head?_

Kyle looks at the dean, how old are you Raven?

I am not sure I tell him as a tear rolls down my face I can't remember anything before I met Del.

As a healer I can tell you have a bone structure of an eight year old dear Patty tells me with a smile.

I wipe my cheek and look at Kyle I'm eight.

A very gifted eight year old, to answer your question Val talks to you in privet mode there is also a broadcast mode and a semi privet mode I was using the semi with you. I would like to help you find your ground, first close your eyes. I want you to pitcher yourself-standing in a field bare foot and you are drawing power from the ground. Do you feel it?

Yes it tickles.

Good can you follow it back?

My eyes scrunch up, it's deep.

Can you move the power from your chest over that spot? I felt a click like a bone snapping back into its socket. Kyle had been watching with his mage sight and saw the flare then a bright glow. Great job raven now that you have found your center you will never get pushed off it. The place you felt is your ground and that jolt you felt is your center. Kyle looked at the dean; I have never seen someone pick that up so fast before.

I open my eyes and smile at them; this is fun can we do the other thing Val said I had to learn before I can go to my new room.

Close your eyes again I want you to pitcher a wall around you with a strong door that locks and only you have the keys to can you do that for me?

I pitcher reinforced concrete walls with rebar with a two inch steel door with massive deadbolts; I feel a tapping on my door I crack open the door.

 _Very good Raven you have a real knack for this most people take days to learn this. Can I do one more thing today?_

I give a mental shrug. _Ok._

 _I am going to check you for other gifts to see if anything else is opening early it will make your head feel funny. Hum, we are going to be spending a lot of time together good work today._ The pressure stops and I open my eyes. I want you to practices you're grounding and centering and raising and lowering your shields Val will tell you when to stop you listen to him ok sweetie.

Leaving healers Sharece looks at Kyle. Well?

Mind speech and thought sensing obviously, quite strong, the channel is open almost all the way. She will be a firer starter she has a strong gift in fetching but the biggest channel she has is mage gift ye gods adept class at the least thank the Twain they have not opened like her mind speech.

How long before she needs training Kyle?

With anyone else I could slow down the opening to a crawl but those inner shields of hers not a chance. It's a good thing she's an orphan we can't let her off the grounds until she has a handle on that mage gift to big a target for a blood mage even in haven. I would suggest you get her into some ethic's class of some kind as soon as you think she can grasp the concept Dean, with a gift like hers she can hurt without meaning to. She is like a sponge the way she just got it, she shows a very high intelligent.

Hum thankyou Kyle I want you to see her every day I think we may have to go about her training a little differently than usually.

I'll get together with Patty and see what the best times are. He turns around and heads back the way he came the dean stands there lost in thought for a moment as a trainee walks past. Tori a moment please.

Yes May-um.

She ran down the list of female trainees on grounds in her mind. Can you ask Terry to stop by my offices after lunch?

Tori bobs his head I'll finder her right now Dean and heads off.

A young woman of fifteen strides down the hall to the Dean's office if someone where watching they would compare her to panther on the prowl her movement swift and precise. She knocks on the door, hears come in, she steps into a neat room with a desk filled with files and the Dean sitting behind it.

Sharece motions over to the two chairs by the window as she picks up a file she was working on and heads over there herself. Sit down Terry I'm afraid I will have to impose on you again and ask you to mentor one more baby. It's unfair of me to ask you to take on another when you have been working with Char for two years and she is about ready to fly on her own.

The young woman smiles at the dean, I come from a big family dean I was the tagalong as the baby, my sisters never complained it would be in poor taste for me to and besides where would I be if Liss hadn't helped me.

The dean smiles seeing the herald work ethic shinning already. Thank you dear, we call her Raven she hands the file over to the girl and waits for her to finish reading.

Oh my, looking back up at the dean, the poor child and so much going on in the gift department.

She is going to be a lot of work for you Terry not your normal protégé as you can see we will have to work around the usual training practices.

You're the strongest mage gifted among the trainees we have, well had I should say.

I'm just master class dean I am like a raindrop to a flood in comparison.

Don't worry we are calling in a long overdue favor to get her a teacher when the time is right. Kyle will handle the first part of her training.

Well he is the first in the circle Dean that makes it easier knowing someone is watching besides me. I just don't feel up to this by myself.

The Dean laughs, that's what Kyle told me.

Walking back to the dorm a voice calls out Terry, looking around the young woman see a fiery 13 year old red head bobbing down the hall towards her. Char when did you get back?

Just now heading for the baths I feel like most of the road is stuck on my grays.

I'll come with I have something I need to talk to you about. I will grab a change and meet you there. It was still early and most of the students were still visiting family so they had the bathroom to them self.

Filling the tubs and then pumping the kettles full again before stepping in Char made a deep mown I've been thinking about this for two days. What you need T?

The dean asked me to mentor another girl and I didn't want you to feel like I was abandoning you.

PLEASE I take it as a compliment. The dean must think I turned out ok if she is giving you another tenderfoot. Hopefully she knows her left from her right she will be one step ahead of where I started.

You weren't that bad it only took me a week to teach you that.

Char splashes her friend. You beast it was only two days and you know it.

How would you like to come with when I meet her she is in healers had a real rough go of it no family left lost her memory. I figure she could use a couple of good friends.

Sure when we going.

After breakfast I have dishwashing.

Char frowns; crap I'll pop in to housekeeping and see if Ms. Betty can give me the same after I explain what's going on. I will see you in the dining room later T.

Val had been trying to explain the three schools. _So it takes about six years before you get your white or greens or reds?_

 _Well not quit Ra different people learn at different speeds and no one moves up until seventeen people would never take them for adults even though they have stopped being children long before then._

 _Nine years that seems like forever._

 _Look at it like this you will have a chance to study things other heralds wished they had the time for you could be one of the best the circle has turned out in the last hundred years. Your job is to learn all you can so you can help the most people._

As I think about that there is a knock on the door and two girls walk in. Hi Raven my name is Terry and this is Char. The Dean asked me to be your mentor, what that means is that if you have questions or need help you can find me and we will figure it out together.

She's really great she is my mentor to and one of my best friends.

I smile at both of them how old are you?

I'm fifteen and Char is thirteen.

Will you be getting your whites when you turn seventeen Val was trying to xplane it to me but I'm not sure I have it right.

Terry laughs only the circle knows when a trainee gets there whites I hope I will have learned enough by then.

Char snorts, top in her year she is don't let her gull you and a mage to boot.

I do my best as dose all who are chosen as they say a companion never choses wrong. How about we spring you for a couple of hours you can come meet the weapons trainer.

My eyes light up, I would love to Val and I are sick of looking out that window and see the sun shine.

Char steps outside and pushes in a wheel chair your couch awaits you she giggles.

 _I am going to go for a roll, and a swim, then grab a bite. I'll meet you back in the room Ra._

 _Ok love take your time love you._ With a whinny he trots off as Terry pushes me.

I have to tell you Raven I'm a little jealous about how you can talk to Val like that, I just started with Ross and I have to be in contact with him Char said the last in a whisper.

Hey none of that your gift is just opening you will get some gift training when class starts again it will come.

Char smiles at me, see best mentor ever.

Herald Kyle has been helping me he comes almost every day before dinner he makes me think at things until my head starts to hurt.

Terry stops pushing and Char just stares at me, every day?

Sometimes we just talk Val listens to he helps me after Kyle leaves but now I can ask you guys too I tell them with a smile.

What has he shown you Raven Terry asks as she starts to push again?

You can call me Ra after I started calling Val Val he started to call me Ra and I kind of like it so my friends can call me Ra.

Char smiles, I would have probably shortened it anyway now tell us what he has shown you Ra.

Ground and center, I have walls and a door now. Val told me to keep them up unless it's another herald or healer I know. Kyle tried to break in last night but I wouldn't let him Val said I did good and when Kyle knocked I opened my door enough to talk with him.

Terry stopped again and sent a probe out first she pushed then she looked for the week spot, her door as she put it then she kept increasing the presser until she had nothing left to give not even a waver her eyes where big as she looked at the eight year old she reaches out again and knocks like she had been taught.

 _Hi Terry_ she starts pushing again _did Kyle tell you it was ok to talk like this?_

 _Oh yes as long as the other person is a herald or trainee and they knock first he told me not to knock unless I ask permission first; he thinks I might startle people. I didn't understand but Val helped me figure it out can I knock on your door Terry?_

She smiles down at me, _sure but let's talk out loud now it's not fair to Char we don't want to hurt her feelings._

Have you and Kyle done anything else?

No he left last night shaking his head but Val told me not to worry about it.

Terry laughs, I can imagine. We push into the sally a big room with mirrors along one wall and wooden floors.


	4. Chapter 4

you know the spiel don't own anything yada yada

* * *

Chapter 4

There are seven pairs fighting with swords of different lengths a man about fifty dressed in grey leathers walking around watching everything. A look of horror comes over my face and in a louder voice than I intended I blurt out, He's still a trainee? Everyone stops, some fighting to keep a smile off their faces, others covering their mouths. Terry and Char have a look of horror as if just standing near me will paint them with the same brush.

I don't believe I said anything about stopping the grey clad man said in a low voice and seven pairs jump right back at it with a fever. Terry is cringing as he heads our way. Who have you brought today trainees?

Terry and Char are almost standing at attention, newly chosen Raven arms master Barth.

To answer your question young Raven it is a long standing tradition that the arm masters wear grey leathers unless the king tells me otherwise.

Oh, I look at him like a small scared rabbit I have always shown the proper respect to all my marcel arts teachers. At the age of twelve I had a black belt in ty-kow-do and in judo. I was also trained in hand to hand as a range with knife work but nothing close to the long weapons that these people danced with. Before I think about it my right hand forms a fist and moves to my left hand perpendicular to my body in the center of my chest and I bow at the waist. Forgive me Master flows out of my mouth before I even think and I stay in the position until he speaks.

A frown on his face he has only seen this once from an eastern hand to hand expert fighter. Where are you from Raven?

Herald Del found me, deep in Sorrows, that's all I know Master. I figure in for a pound in for a penny and bow again. Everyone is listening to our exchange. His eyes get a faraway look and I can feel his mind reach out Terry bumps my shoulder and shakes her head no. Even I can figure out this one and pull my thoughts back.

He looks at me with a big smile like a cat starring at a goldfish in a bowl. I'm to start you on your physical therapy he looks at my two friends as if to say (you are still here?) they both start to warm up and head over to get there practice swords. He reaches down and picks me up like the trapped rabbit I feel like and lays me on a matt. He gets down and shows me leg and arm exercises and tells me to do two reps of ten for each limb then he will be back when I finish that.

I kept at it until sweat was pouring out of me I had tears in my eyes but I didn't stop I once fought with a broken arm in Afghanistan.

Master Barth tells us all to stop and I lie like a puddle. He points to me and saying, look at her, if you had half the drive she has at eight years old I would not have to beat on you all the time. Good job Raven I expect great things from you. He bends and plucks me off the floor places me in the wheel chair. We will have you walking before you know it.

I bow again, thank you for the instruction master and look up and smile.

A grin crakes his face and is gone like magic before anyone but I see it. He turns to Terry, make sure she gets a good soak before bringing her back to the healers.

They have a special bath at healers and Terry got permission for Char and her to help me. They had a lift that I scooted on that was like a boom picking me up and lowering me down in the water. It felt like heaven.

They had both been real quite all the way back but Char couldn't stand it and blurted out, what in the lower seven circles was that.

Looking at them in confusion I ask, what?

That hand thing and the bowing Terry waves her hand all of it?

I think I might have had some training Master Barth seemed to know what it meant.

What did it mean Char asked as she handed me the soap.

I show them the gesture; it means I fight with an open hand no weapons.

Well the Bear likes you.

I look at them with a frown who's the Bear?

The arms master Char tells me with a laugh.

I look very seriously at both of them **you** **never disrespect your master on or off the matts** **.**

The color drains from Char's face. I was just having a little fun everyone calls him that.

From somewhere deep inside me a voice spoke to the two girls. Some day and I hope it's a long time away you are going to find yourself in a fight that you might not survive he knows this that is why he is so hard on you. Next time you want to stop or laydown in practice just remember that. You work to you pass out, nothing less than 100% maybe then he can stop yelling at you.

Val was waiting for me when the girls dropped me off he was radiating pride. _Good job Ra._

I duck my head and put my hand on his neck. _They needed to hear that I hope it does not cost me their friendship._

 _Char went to see Ross and Terry is talking with Star it will all work out you did good._

I feel a knocking on my door. _Ready for us?_

By the tone I know it is Patty, _Anything to get me up and moving._ The door swings open and three healers step in there is discomfort when they heal me. Patty told me it was because of my shields. I give Patty a mental knock _no pain no gain and laugh._ I'm almost sobbing as I sent that, Patty smiles at me and we keep going.

You rest she tells me as she leaves a few more days of this and with the workouts and you may walk out of here.

I crash that took a lot out of me the next thing I know Kyle is in the room. You had a bizzy day today. Barth likes you I didn't think he liked anyone.

Show respect to get respect Kyle.

A look crosses his face, I let too much out and now he knows. You are more than you seem Raven.

I shrug, maybe the gods truly love me.

Then he did a strange thing and I felt surrounded by something. What do you remember of your life on the farm?

The pressure built and words were forced out of me. Six glowing figures standing around me and then Del riding like the wind straight for me.

Who were the glowing figures? He was watching me with mage sight as he asked these questions all of a sudden the spell winked out he could tell it wasn't me or Val. He tried three more times he could put the spell on me and ask anything else but when he asked that one the spell would implode.

Kyle sat in the circle the highest ranking heralds are only allowed here. I've never seen the like. I was tapping the node to fuel the spell. Whatever she is hiding we are never going to know. I don't think we could generate enough power with ever mage we had to bypass that protection.

Holt got "the look" Rollin told me that the companions can't breach it either. That is why she was chosen so young he even had her companion chose two years early.

The lord marshal Pell pounds the table. I don't like it. She is eight years old for gods sake.

Sharece looks at them with a scowl. The oldest among them elected by all the field heralds stands up and the murmurs stop. You have something to say Stephon?

If you cannot trust your selves or the other people on the counsel, trust that the companions always chose right.

Not always Pell looks at his mentor.

Until Vallary says otherwise she is pure of hart maybe the gods poured in a little something special. All to the good I say. We will know her thru and thru before she gets her whites. Let Flamedancer know his favor is due in a few years.

It's been a few weeks and I'm finally vertical. Master Barth has me running around the sally. He keeps a close eye on me after the first day he knows I will pass out before he tells me to stop. Val is always in the back of my head now Terry tells me that usually happen in the fourth year. I'm something of a freak already. After their meeting they started me in class one on one with the instructors. Word of some of the things I can do have gotten around some of the teachers are amazed with how fast I pick up things. I can read and write now. I find my mind clearing when I run. It's a good time to process what I have learned. My new body moves with grace and my mind remembers everything I hear or see or read quite the improvement over my old brain. Master Barth waves me in I have only done four laps. I did thirty yesterday. More students have arrived from break and there are ten boys and girls between fourteen and sixteen standing around the matt waiting for Master Barth to bring me over.

Steve get in there Master Barth barks out. He turns and looks at me. Short of causing permeant harm do whatever it takes to win. I stop at the edge of the matt and remove my boots and socks. Why did you do that?

I look at Master Barth, it is a sign of respect not to damage the face of the matt it breaks your falls.

Would you stop in a true fight?

No Master but this is training and one should always protect her equipment.

You don't feel at a disadvantage with Steve wearing boots?

No. I turn and put my hands to my side and bow deeply to Master Barth then spin around bow to the matt. Then to Steve however my eyes never leave his.

ATTACK master Barth yells I do a hand stand into a kick in Steve's chest knocking him down my body rides his to the ground and I come to a stop with his arm in a joint lock. It was over before he finished saying attack. I go through two more opponents then Master Barth calls out Kile I watch him move as he steps on the matt he has had some special training. He takes a strange stance almost like Khufu I have been using a lot of judo up to this point. I crick my neck one side then the other and bow to Kile letting him know I am ready. Master Barth was quite sure I would never lay a hand on Kile. Kile had payed close attention on how I was moving but he was no fool he never assumed that was all I could do. Instead of grappling or forcing a throw I struck spinning to the right and hitting the inside knee. Kile rolled out and sent a jab to my head but I had fallen into a rear summersault and stood back up. We looked across the matt and then the match really started. I took some hits but I was giving as good as I got then I saw my opening and delivered a spinning front kick to his head as I landed in a crouch I heard his body hit the matt and then complete silence. I turn and bow to Kile then turn and bow to Master Barth and then went to my kneels. Master Barth checks Kile and seeing he had just been knocked out told two of his year mates to help him to healers. He dismissed the rest of the class then motioned for me to follow him to his office. I stopped stepped off the matt turned and bowed picked up my shoes and followed my new sansei.

How would you rate Kile as a fighter?

Fair, if I was bigger or stronger it would have been over much quicker.

Barth smile, Really what would you say if I told you he is one of the best trainee in hand to hand, studied with the iron monks for three years before being chosen. He is still taking lesson at the temple once a week.

I would say he lacks challenge his first strikes were sloppy over confident.

We are going to have so much fun you and I. Barth was smiling from ear to ear.

How would you like to help me out for the next hour or so?

I answer in Japanese HAI SANSEI. He looks at me strange what does that mean. Hai means yes sir. Sansei means Teacher/master/elder. It is a high form of respect. I don't know how but I remember only two other people I have ever called that. It is also a form of endearment between a student and a teacher.

He smiles, then I give you leave to use it. I give him the biggest smile so far in my new life Thank you Sansei.

We walk in and there is a group of heralds here to work. The one by the rack at the door you see him? He is the best fighter in the circle. You think you could throw him?

He stands six feet tall and must weigh 190, all solid mussels. I go through my mind the throw I would have to perform. If I take him unaware, if he was trying to restrain me, then yes I could do it.

Barth leans down and whispers. No bowing, this is a sneak attack.

Yes sansei.

Zake a little help hear please he yells across the room. Barth walks me to the center of the matt. A tinny trainee, he looks at Zake please restrain her and walks off the matt.

I act like a scared child and move away from him giving him my back. He reaches around me to grab my arm. That is all I need. I grab his wrist step back into his legs, roll my shoulder to the matt. Physics take over where the head goes the body must follow. He is so surprised that before he can act I have him in a wrist lock. You don't have to be strong, six or seven pounds of force is all you need. Most people thrash about casing damage to them self when in this hold. That is why I did not use it before; Zake did not move a mussel.

Has the little eight year old beaten you Zake? Barth's words are very condescending he looks on with the same smile he wore in his office. Have I not told you time and again that every opponent can be deadly?

Yes Master Barth. Could you please ask your trainee to release me?

Raven, he barks out one word, its part of the lesson.

Yes SANSEI. I let him go while doing two back hands stands to put distance between us and then bow to Zake. To add insult to injury I do the fist and palm while bowing. Zake's eyes widen. When he sees that he returns the bow with a hand cupping the fist.

News travels fast trainees can hardly believe I put Zake on the matt. Kile hears and feels so much better. He is only a side note to the stories flying around. Thank gods it was Heralds only and no bards in the sally it is a thing which Zake is eternally grateful for.

Terry and Char track me down in the baths with a group of girls following, the most I have ever seen in a room built for ten. Out Ra and get dressed everyone wishes to hear about your fight with Zake.

One girl in the back yells out, not a word till the hall the boys wish to hear it first hand to. I frown at them but Terry and Char just smile and make a motion to get up.

I dried off and got dressed and it was straight to the hall it was packed with trainees and Heralds they put me up on a table and waited you could hear a pin drop. Two heralds slipped in the back to hear what I would say. The first thing that any sansei that is any good will teach any student is you to never gloat. After my class Sansei asked me to help him to teach another student.

What is Sansei someone yells out of the crowd?

When the teacher allows the student to address him as sansei it is a great honor to the student. One must never use this form of address unless the teacher allows it. Sansei then told me that Zake had become compliant and asked if I could throw him like I did earlier with Tom. After pointing him out and letting me assess him. I told Sansei how we could set him up by having him restrain me. It put me inside his guard. Once he reached for my wrist it was all over. A simple throw then a wrist lock. Something I would not normally use because most people try to get out of it and harm them self. Sansei told me he was the best so I was sure he would not struggle. He didn't move a mussel a real pro. They were all looking for a story that would make Zake look bad. I basically told them we ambushed him. Set him up to fail, for training, it was perfectly executed. People mulled around and the two that stole in at the last, quickly left when I finished.

I had dinner and headed back to my room. That was gracefully done thank you. Zake comes out of the doorway of one of the class rooms.

It was the truth and any chance to learn should be taken.

I'm glad you feel that way Raven there have been a few request to see your stile of fighting demonstrated. The captain of the guard the iron monks and yours truly would like to see. Your teacher asked me to tell you to report tomorrow at ten.

Then I best get to sleep. I like to run first thing.

Run where, what for?

It helps me think, loosens me up. As to where sometimes it's around the sally other times around the outside of the palace. I'm going to have Val ask his father if it's ok to run in the field.

What time do you run?

Mostly at dawn you can get a lot done when everyone is asleep.

Mind if I tag along?

I smile at him, sure but I won't slow my pace.

He looks at my height. I think I can keep up.

I may not look like much but this body was made to run. I had been doing between eight and nine miles every morning for the last week plus however much Sansei asked me to do. Around mile seven Zake dropped out and walked over to the sally. I finished my ten a new personal high and did a few stretches.

I can't believe an eight year old ran me into the ground.

You give up to easily you have to push past the pain, the only way to find your limit is to reach it.

What's yours?

Until I am full grown it will keep changing. I have to run I got to eat they still have me washing dishes after breakfast. I would like to try something new but they think I'm too small. I shrug my shoulders and give him a smile see you in three and one half marks.

Barth leads me into the sally. All set Ra, everybody heard Terry and Char call me that and it stuck. I just smiled it was ok by me. Who will be hear sansei? Like Zake told you about ten monks eight guards Zake, Kile, and me of course.

No one else from the circle?

Well they may drop in don't let it bother you.

Every time they watch me I have to change classes.

I will make sure to work into your open time ok sweetie?

We get inside and it's just like he said. After a brief introduction the holy father of the temple which happens to be a branch that worships the sun god steps up and bows. Both hands in his sleeves I return the bow with an open hand and the priests get excited. He looks over at Barth. We had a visitation last night, and a message.

What did the fire god have to say?

Stop looking a gift horse in the mouth. He smiles at me, in other words leave the girl alone.

Sharece looks at him. About time someone talked some sense.

That said we would still like to see the moves you know and anything you can tell us about your training.

Bits and pieces father, I told Sansei that I had two other that had earned the name.

May we see your Kata's?

Standing in the center of the room I move through all the moves I had been schooled in. Then moved into all the mixed martial arts I had picked up. Finally finishing with everything I was tot in ranger training.

Is that all, the guard captain ask?

No sir I will need a partner to demonstrate throws and body locks.

Sansei barks out Kile.

My fellow trainee steps into the center; I whisper to him, you have had instruction in falling? He nods his head. I turn with my back to Kile this is called a hip through.

Two hours later and a bruised and sore Kile picks himself off the floor for the last time I give him a very deep bow saying clearly Arigatogozaimashita(thank you) and stay bent over till he returns the bow.

The high priest nods his head you have been schooled by some other monks. Some of the moves you know we do not teach to any but brothers of the highest order. Others we have never seen. We would like you to work with a few brothers on a few joint locks.

I bow to the father they are simple to learn the trick is holding them without casing permeant damage you can lame without meaning to. In true combat the breaking of these joints causes such distress that most will black out allowing you to finish your opponent. Someone who is familiar with the holds has been known to ignore the pain and continue the fight.

The father smile, much like our brothers we teach them to reach beyond the here and now allowing the pain to have no hold.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

I had no more free time it seemed like I was running from one class to the next and teaching a select group the things I demonstrated in the sally. Sansei was as good as his word and fit it all in the open parts of my classes. They left me the early mornings for running. A few people started to join me and we had a core group Terry, Char, Kile, and two guards Vek and Ske they both were in charge of the kings detail and had been studying with me and sansei. Two people I insisted be in the classes were Terry and Char. Sansei smiled ear to ear when he informed them of the honor Terry was ready to kill me when she found out. Looking over at my two best friends as we complete the ten miles in the companions field's I feel pride in only two months Terry can best almost all her year mates but it is Char who has really taken to it, after me size for size she may be the best fighter in the circle that's not saying that we beat Zake he is real good and in a fight of equal skill size matters. However last class she scored three hits to two on Kile two years older. She had later that night crowed at dinner of his defeat. I was not there or I would have put a stop to it. Today I was going to teach her humility.

Sansei surprised me with his knowledge and attended all the classes. Mostly to observe, he walked around pointing out flaws in technique or form. He had heard of Chars little show. So when I called her to the center of the matt a smile broke out on his face. As anyone can tell you this is a bad thing for someone in the sally. I look at my friend; it's all anyone is talking about, how you thrashed Kile yesterday. When he bested you I never heard about it. These are privet lesion only our group is in attendance. Who could have told everyone else?

She stands in front of me and the smile falls from her face.

Usually I call the hits and falls. I look over Sansei, keep scour. He nods and I turn and bow.

Char looks at me, sets her shoulders and returns my bow. She immediately goes on defense.

I was real good in my old life but I was living it in this one. Training every day, running, and they tell you that teaching hones you skills. This was the first time I was the master. I let it all go like she did against Kile. Everything all the different stiles flowed in to something all my own. Even the two master monks were left speechless. I had only ever moved like this with Zake and then only Sansei ever saw it. She never stood a chance. Three humiliating fall one after the other as she stands I bow and with tears in her eyes she bows back. I whisper so only she can hear. Never boast of how you beat someone in my class again.

She drops her head and says, yes Sansei. She was the first one who ever called me that but she would not be the last. By the winter break everyone with the exception of My Sansei was fallowing her lead and no one ever talked out side of class again. That's not to say there was not some good natured ribbing in the class but no outsiders ever heard about it.

It was an hour before the last class before winter break. As were our custom Sansei and I sat in his office and discussed the upcoming Lessing and the previse one. Zake is going out after he visits his family it will be a long one, two to three years before we see him again. I wish you to match him. Show the kids something.

It had been a running joke that we called the students kids, some time they fought like three year olds. My blood was pumping Zake and I were a lot more evenly matched than anyone knew. He was aware of it and we spared three to four times a week. I'm going to miss him but Char is coming along nicely.

It was one of the greatest fights of my life and if I had a little more mass I might have won. As we stand after the match I bow low he returns the gesture and smiles. That will be the last time I ever win against you he tells me as he riffles my hair. You will be at least a head taller and twenty pounds heavier and all mussel next time I see you sansei.

I give him a hug come home safe Zake. He takes his leave and the others square off as my sansei and I prowl on the outside pointing out mistakes. Today was the first day of break but the class wished to have one more session before departing. Everyone was leaving including sansei I was told three weeks ago that I was not allowed to leave by Kyle. Some of my friends including Sansei, Terry, and Char had asked me to visit but when the circle found out he had to give me the bad news. Good work people lets wrap it up. I know most of you need to hit the road. That is when they surprised me with the gifts. I was floored they were only small things but it was the thought behind them. I didn't get you guys anything.

One of the guards' smirks is she kidding? Then the whole class including sansei bowed. I didn't know what to do but my training took over. Bowing back the words Arigatogozaimashita come out and I wait till they all stand before standing back up.

I had an appointment right after class with the kings own. Taking a quick bath I headed for his office. I hear a muffled come in after knocking on the door. His office is very neat everything has a place and it is in it.

I hear nothing but good things about you I felt it was time to meet you.

I sit a little straighter in my chair. Thank you sir.

We do have some things to discuss the biggest is confining you to the grounds. We want you to know it is not a punishment and we will arrange outings for you. Did Kyle explain why?

Yes sir he told me until my mage gift opened enough and I learned to protect the power I had I was a tasty treat for blood mages.

Well yes a little blunt but right to the point. I also wished to discuss your farm. We had a team of mages go over it that's were Del had gone. They found some disturbing things high traces of blood sacrifice also a circle of power. The local priest said it was holy in nature. That is part of why I asked to speak with you they wish to purchase the land and buildings from you.

What sect are they?

Torrying they worship the Twain. Your family had staked out over a thousand acres and had them legally deeded. As a trainee the crown holds them for you without taxes until you have an heir or you sell them. They wish to build a temple over the circle. The offer is extremely generous.

What are we talking about?

Five thousand golds and if you sell to the clergy it is tax free.

It was the place I was born, the place I came into this world, and a place I would probably never visit again. What would I do with all that?

It would be placed in the royal bank until your sixteenth birthday you would of course receive 2% interest a year that works out to ten golds which you will receive on the first of every year _._

 _A small fortune for a student, one hundred golds_ Val piped up.

 _Do you think I should do it?_

 _We have a new home now love and even if you never need the money you may have littles someday and wish to help them or buy sweats for a hardworking partner._

 _I would shower you with them if they ever let me through the gate you will just have to suffer along with the treats I sneak out to you from the hall love._ He watches my face knowing who I was talking to than came back to the present. We have only one problem I tell him, I am unsure of my birthday.

He smiles at me, not to worry you would be surprised to find how many young ones come through here in the same boat as you. we let them pick a date and it is put in the books.

Thinking hard I wish to have something that reminds me of home. I want it to be the 4th of July. You can sell the farm to them tell them I hope they have better luck there than we did. Del also found some money and valuable that he is bringing back with him for you if you wish to have me hold on to any of them or liquidate them let me know. Del will be back in a few days.

It was a bit lonely and without Val I probably would have sunk in to a deep depression. The first day as the sun hits my face, _don't forget we have to run._ I had gotten used to have others with me and was feeling a little sluggish. _Let me sleep._

 _Get up you will thank me later when the others are throwing up._

Grumbling, _slave driver._

 _I have a surprise come on down to the track._ We had named the trail in companion field the track after seeing the improvement in the stamina in my running buddies others started to also run mostly heralds and trainees but soon bards and guards also were using the path. The place was empty it felt like I was the last person on the planet. I step over the bridge and see my surprise. Stretching out were the two monks from my classes Brother Phil and Brother Tike. What are you doing here? I knew they ran everyday with the other monks at the temple. The iron monks had earned the name from being able to run from sun up to sun set. A bard had told me that in one song it tells how they ran for thirty miles and fell on the invaders and fought for two days.

Sansei we came to share your morning run.

I knew they were going to miss the workout with their brothers being there with me. I didn't make a fuss they know I can't leave so they came here. I just started to run the trail snaked around the edge of the field we had beaten a dirt path around. We all had good wind so every once In a while someone would say something.

It is nice to run to a change of scenery don't you think Brother Tike?

Yes Brother Phil. We finish the ten and they tell me they will see me tomorrow.

 _How did you manage this?_

 _I asked Ross to ask Char to see if she could find anyone for you to run with while they were gone._ Val trotted over and I put my arms around him.

Your too good for me love. I owe you one.

 _I hear there are pocket pies set out for breakfast._

I'll see what I can do.

He gives me a nudge with his nose. _You can bring it to me when you give me that nice long grooming you have been promising me._

Things kept up like that I stayed busy reading or running or doing my Kata's or if all else failed grooming Val to an inch of his life. He never shined so much others in the field were getting snippy with him he told me later so I started to brush unpaired companions. He would show up with one of his friends and although they never talked to me I would talk to them. Val would pass on what they had to say. That was pretty much the first week. Then on the start of the second week we were finishing our run and standing with Val was Del and Griff. I throw myself into Del's arms.

We walked back toward the stables. I have sold the farm have you heard?

Val and Griff are talking he is still in the back of my head but more like background noise. Yes Holt reached out. He told me you talked. After helping Del groom Griff and getting him some good feed with a few treats for both of our companions Del grabbed two saddle bags and we headed for my rooms. He stepped in and looked around; books were staked on the desk three and four high with a small space to work. It was the only clear space on the desk. The rest of the room is spotless.

Sit he tells me and I sit on the end of the bed he grabs the only chair at the desk. I found some interesting thing and some very valuable pieces of jewelry he pulls out a gold chain that must be three feet long an emerald pendant and a ruby broch. Death had left a few things to help my back story besides the jewels. He pulls out a thick packet of papers. Some of these are very enlightened. Holt will have to look at them before I can give you them but they are yours and I will make sure you get them. They also had some strange knifes and an account in the traders bank, but they didn't have a balance so we will have to look into this. Do any of these help you remember?

No Del something's just come to me like the fighting I seem to pick things up fast. Val tells me it just means I have time to learn new things. I like to read now.

Del looks at the desk; I can see that how many books have you read?

I finished first year studies I am half way through the second year course work.

He shakes his head, to think you didn't know how to read five months ago.

I'm used to being a kind of freak but I have made some good friends.

I'm sure you have, he scrapes all the jewelry back into the saddle bags and returns the papers. I will get these to Holt.

It took three days before he called me to his office for another appointment. Walking in I see Del sitting with Holt. Come have a seat we have a few things to discuss. I know Del showed you a few things it took a while to go through the papers. It seems your grandfather was some kind of an arms teacher and they fled from the eastern empire for some unknown reason. It would explain your training he must have been very accomplished. I looked at the records they told the boarded guards they were farmers. I also inquired about your account they deposited over a thousand gold marks a life time wages for a farmer or the sale of property. What would you like to do with the account?

 _I think you should put it with the rest in the crown account Ra._

My head is cocked as I lessen to Val, put it in the same account that you set up for me sir I know the crown has my best interest at heart.

Halt smiles, I have a paper for you to sing transferring the gold it will result in twenty additional golds a year.

 _More money to spoil me with pocket pies and treats as far as the eye can see._

 _It doesn't matter I have nowhere to spend it love._

 _Save it up Halt has promised we would have outings._

We have this conversation as I am singing the paper. He puts the three pieces of jewelry on the table. Would you like to keep these?

I pick up the broch this one to remember them by maybe someday the memories will return. Sell the rest and put it in the account Master Holt.

He moves the other two off the table and puts three knifes on the table two throwing blades and a fighting knife. No one has ever seen this design the royal armor could not figure out how the blade was made.

I picked it up it felt right in my hand. In barely a whisper with eyes only for the knife in my hand I tell them what I remember. The steel was folded fifty times it was made by a master smith it was going to belonged to my brother he was about to turn sixteen. Dad's own design I watched him as he made it at his forge. Grandfather called my brother Supiningu-Shi(spinning death) he was so fast with a knife in his hand he could take anyone. He was going out into the world mercing and looking to bring home a bride. grandfather had a letter ready to go out with him. Grandfather's word still held sway in some quarters.

What was his name?

I looked at Del, they called him Shi-O-Arukimasu(walking death). There should be sheaths for all of these.

Halt opens a draw in his desk and takes out two wrist sheaths and a fine hip sheath and places it on the desk. Picking them up I tell them mother made them. I blinked it was the first memories I had of my hoist.

Holt and Del were staring at me waiting to see if I would say anything else. I saw their faces. All of them, tears are falling down my face I remember them all.

Do you remember your name?

I hate Holt a little right now, she died with the rest of her family my name is Raven. I wipe the tears streaking down my cheek with the back of my sleeve. Unknown to any in the room Death lifted his hand from the back of my head just before he leaves a thought blasts him. _You will not tamper with my chosen._

Death smiles _I give them an answer to some of their questions it will ease her way. Holt will go to the circle with this and many will relax and see she is an asset and not a danger._

 _How much of that was the truth?_

 _Surprisingly almost all of it Val. Wind in your face my child._ Death leaves and no one in the room is any wiser.


	6. Chapter 6

ML has all rights just a few dreams in her world

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Chapter Six

Holt presses for more; can you tell us why your family left?

In a dead voice I start. The grandson of the empire killed my uncle his wife and my three year old cousin. Grandfather could have let his son's death go. He walked the way of the knife. My aunt and their daughter was another matter. He came in the middle of the night and told my mother, his daughter to head for the border. There is a reason he is called Walking Death. The Empire knew grandpa was going to come after that Tawagoto-No-Sakuhin.

Del might not know what she said but he recognized the tone. What do those words mean?

My cheeks color but I still look at them defiantly, PIECE OF SHIT. Neither can hold my eyes and look away. He was under guard with all his three wives and four children. Grandfather told my father and mother that there were thirty guards. We heard in Iftle that there is a 50,000 gold marks reward for grandpa's head. They called him the reaping wind after that night. Thirty-eight died that night. Needless to say not many looked to collect on the bounty but the few that did ended up eyeless he would leave them alive but they would never seek him again. The Empire made some noise but he was glade we had left. If another drop of blood fell from any of my family he would be a dead man.

Holt and Del looked stunned. Are you able to tell us the rest?

I look at Holt with dead eyes. He came at dawn. Mom told me to hide in the root cellar. There was a magic wall keeping us from running he had a magic shield around his body. Nothing could touch him no force could move him. I watched as he killed all my family. One at a time he started. First with grandfather, he held him off the ground when gradfather asked who he was he laugh, call me Pitch for your soul will not exist after I feast.

I felt Val sending me all the love he had just to get me through this. We didn't talk we didn't need to.

They screamed, he liked to cause pain, at the end light was ripped out of grappa's body then he just let the husk fall to the ground. He went from oldest to youngest. Mom begged for her children's life's. If there is one thing I can be thankful for is that my parents went before any of my brothers no parent should out live a child. He played with us for hours. I remember being in the cellar he knew I was down there. The click of his boots as they step down the stairs I will never forget that sound now. I hid in the potato bin all you could see was my eyes.

Silly girl, he laughs like he was having the best time of his life. Something grabs my right arm and I feel it snap. It drags me out and shakes me. Then he blinks and both my legs breaks I passed out the next thing I knew I opened my eyes and saw Del riding toward me. I look at Del, the rest you know. I look them both in the eyes. I hate you for making me remember this. Whatever has kept me going leaves next thing I know I am waking up looking at Patty in that horrible white room.

Letting out a groin, not again, crap; how long have I been here?

She puts her hand on my head. Two days dear. Holt wants to know when you wake up.

I don't want to see him or Del!

Will you talk to Kyle or Sharece?

As long as they don't ask about the farm or before I'm not ready to talk about it again. Kyle comes in almost right away as if he was standing right outside the door. In his hand are the three knifes wrapped in their sheaves. Wordlessly he puts them in my hands.

Pokes at my shield just like he always does first when we work, I can't help it a smile brakes out as I knock on his door I hear _have you been practicing?_

 _I have been working so hard I thought I would take a two day nap!_

 _Everything looks ok nice and tight you really have some of the best shields I have ever seen._

I feel another voice in a different spot in my head. _RA your awake! Do you feel better are you ok? Dad was talking to me or should I say at me. He didn't like me power sharing to get you through that._ It was a little bewildering hearing two voices at the same time and Val was running off questions without waiting for an answer.

 _Easy love Kyle is talking to me to do me a favor and lessen too I'm not 100% yet._

 _Ok Ra we can talk after he leaves._

Kyle knew I was talking to someone else and assumed it was Val. _All squared away?_

 _Yes Val just found out I was awake_. I could feel he wanted to ask some questions but stopped himself _._ I only said one word _Thanks._ I feel his mind withdraw.

I'll tell those two vultures to stop circling you seem to have all you facilities. They really are sorry you know.

I just need a little time.

You take it easy there is still two weeks of break left. He stands up and pats my arm.

I hate this place sorry Patty but I really do. When can I get out of here?

Kyle smiles at me. That a girl. No herald worth their salt will stay one second longer than they make us.

Smacking him in the arm, don't say things like that to her. To answer your question dear if you look good to me I will release you tomorrow. We will let you rest she told me as she pushed Kyle out the door.

I'm holding my knifes as my tears flow. I held off crying I'm sick of being week. My host's grandpa would beat the sad out of her. After I get out of here I'm heading to the sally. Her memories are becoming part of me but I don't mind. I like that a part of her survived.

Patty let me out like she promised. I keep my silent pelage and went to the sally. Taking the long knife out of the sheath I start the knife dance that was drilled into my hoist. It was incredible I had extensive training with the knife but this new skill went way beyond that. I could see Supin the pet name I gave my brother helping me learn. Slowing down his movement so I could follow, Grampa would watch and not say anything till the end. He felt that after a certain point you only get better if you are teaching. It makes you examine all the moves in a different way. The last time we trained grandpa told me to work on my speed. That meant all the moves were correct. So that is what I did for the rest of the break I ran, danced with my knife, read books, and spent time with Val. It just so happened that Sansei walked in three days before classes were to start. I was spinning like a top the knife gliding through the air. I was lost in the dance so I did not notice him. Completing the last move with a lunge I hear clapping. I turn and see Sansei a big smile on his face. Halt had talked to him about what had happened but I did not know that.

Who taught you that?

Lowering my eyes and looking at my feet to fight the tears. I remember everything Sansei this is my grandfather's knife dance. He taught me. He walks out to me. Puts his arm around me and steers me toward his office.

We sit in two comfy chairs by the fire someone had thoughtfully lit. May I see the knife?

If it was anyone else I would have excused myself and left. Val had a front row seat to the workings of my brain he was keeping quite watching but silent. It made it better feeling his silent support. Halt and Del spoke to you. It was not a question just a statement.

Yes he tells me with his hand out waiting for the knife.

It's like handing over a piece of her soul. I slide it out and give it to him hilt first. We sit there in silence for a good half mark the fire the only sound as he looks and handles the knife. He hands it back without saying a word. The silence drags on I know he has questions. I just start talking, random thing, my three brothers hunting with dad, his plans for expanding the forge, the beautiful things mother made out of leather.

Finally a question breaks his silence. He made the knife?

I nod my head. You should have seen the things he shipped out with the trader just before the attack. In a detached voice I say, I have to contact him. He took them on commission. I might take them back if he hasn't sold them yet.

Where was he headed?

Haven he was excited to display them he was to bring back steel ingots for father. I will have to tell him not to bother.

What was his name? Geapol Bladerunner, a good man and friend to my father. He is of the traveling people we met him on the long journey here. We spent almost a year with him and his family waking or sleeping. One of the twins was sweet on his daughter. He was going to bring her out with the steel for a visit. I trail off it is amazing the amount I am remembering about her life as if a flood gate had open. Saroc would want me to tell her. Taroc was mad at him they did everything together and he thought they would go out like Supin in two years find brides and head back. Saroc just wanted to work the steel. He was happy he had found someone to share his life. I smile at Sansei. He was born with a hammer in his hand that's what dad said.

I have seen a few of your father's blades. The mark is very distinct. I know that they have been going for top prices. I will go and see if I can find him tomorrow.

Knowing I can't leave he has made the offer. All I say is thank you sansei.

A page finds me in my room reading. You have guest trainee. Herald Barth asks that you go to the gate.

I close the book and thank him. Put on my boots and head for the gate. I would know that wagon anywhere, at least now. Sansei is standing there looking at me. I nod. These people are the closes thing to blood family I have left. The guard lets them through. Gea I say and we embrace.

Tell me he lies he whispers in my ear. Essly tell me.

I look at him. She is dead also old friend I am Ra now. His daughter hears and starts to wail. I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her. Looking at Sansei I say, can we find somewhere more privet?

He calls over a groom. Care for the horse and wagon make sure nothing goes walking. We walk back to his nice cozy office. Jawel just cries and shakes the whole way. She sits with me on a sofa. Getting herself under control we all just wait.

I look at Gea. It is a gruesome tail I tell him.

Your father and I knew each other all our lives and you know Jawel was coming out to hand fess Saroc next fall. We have a right to know.

Taking Jawel's hand I tell the horrible story for I hope the last time. I spare them nothing. Nor me I live it all again my new body cringes with the remembered pain. I end by taking about Val the one good thing that came of this. I feel a burst of love from my soul brother.

With tears in his eyes he thanks me. Ever the trader he sits up strait. What would you like to do with your fathers blades?

Knowing this is how he copes I ask how many are left?

I sold most there are six long knifes three swords and four sets of thronging knifes. I would like them back.

Of course, there is also the profit for the sales after my cut and taxes you have two thousand five hundred and forty eight gold marks. l have it on deposit at the traders bank under a new account.

Sansei do you know any good blacksmiths in Haven looking for apprentices, He nods his head.

The Apprentice fee is steep not many are able to afford it.

I look him in the eye. How much?

One thousand gold is the standard fare for non-family.

Dad had promised to take on Geo's youngest son. May I borrow a piece of parchment and a quill? He waves to the desk. I sit down and start righting. I have Sansei witness it with his signature. Blotting and sanding the page I pick it up. Walking over to Gea I hand it to him.

He reads it over. No you can't do this.

Yes I can the money belongs to me and this is what my family would wish to do.

What does it say papa?

I Ellsy Knifemaker bequeath the following sums of money from my family account. To Geapol's youngest son Ned one thousand marks to only be used for his apprentice fee. To Jawel five hundred forty eight gold marks for a dowry a loving gift from Saroc. The last thousand gold marks to be given to Geapol Bladerunner for the many kindness he and his family extended to my family on the long journey to this new land. If Ned should not wish to be a blacksmith but follow a different trade the fee will be taken out of the thousand and the rest given to the alums house in Haven.

Singed Ellsy Knifemaker (Trainee Raven)

Witnessed By Herald Barth Trellic

That is the last thing I will ever do as Ellsy.

Gea wipes a tear off his face. We had such big plans your father and me.

I know I wish we could have lived them.

Let me get the steel. They were wrapped in a beautiful leather carrying case that you could wrap up into a compact bundle. He sets it on the desk it has some weight to it all that steel. Would you like to see them? He reaches to untie the throng holding it closed.

I put my hand on top of his. Please don't I would like to look at them in privet. I can tell Sansei is a little disappointed but this is just too personal to share with anyone yet.

I get them to my room. For the first time I lock the door. I unroll the case on my bed. All the swords are what are called short swords. Three feet long sharp on two edges. I spin it in my hand the balance is great they didn't sell because they are made for woman or small men. All three are identical with my father's mark by the hilt. I run my hand over the leather scabbard beautifully tooled in geometric designs. Six long knifes have matching scabbards. My long knife is slightly better the steel is harder it was the best father can make if sold at the same price as the other long knife it would be a loss. Most knifes are folded twenty or thirty times depending on the smith dad folded this blade fifty times. It is almost impossible to dull or nick this blade. People had asked if he was a mage smith. None the less these knifes were a cut above the highest quality you could buy in this country. I kept a sword, two long knifes, and a set of throwing knifes out with there sheaths then put the rest away rolling them up and put it in my wardrobe next to the small purse of 120 gold I had received on the first of the year. Kyle gave it to me, I was still not talking to Holt or Del. I knew what I was going to do with most of them. Tomorrow I would discuss it with Sansei.

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what do you think?


	7. Chapter 7

ML owns it all I just ramble here

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chapter seven

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Walking in to the sally with my smaller bundle I spied Terry working with Char on throws. I move over to sansei sorry I am late Del ambushed me in the dining hall and made me promise to talk to herald Holt.

He looks at my hands are those some of the blades your father made?

I wish to give a set to Terry and thought that I should check with you first to see if they would be a good fit with her blade work.

We move to his office and I unwarp them pulling out the sword. I hand it to my teacher hilt first.

His hand spins the blade in a blur great balance, good length for her reach it might be the best blade she will ever hold are you sure you wish to part with it?

I have three swords I wish to give one to Terry, Char, and keep the last for me they are all identical. They will also come with a set of throwing knifes and a long dagger.

He looks in my eyes. I will have some practice blades made for you three. Can you leave the set here so I can get the size and weight right?

I pull out the throwing knifes next and then the two long knifes setting all but one of the long knifes on the table. I hand Sansei the blade with two hands first touching the blade to my fore head. As his hands touch the blade words pour out of me. When your need is great may your blade drink deeply.

Looking me in the eye he touches the blade to his lips when things are most dire let my blade do my speaking.

The shock showed on my face. Where did you learn the proper response?

One of the monks spent some time in the eastern empire though I am told it loses something in the translation. You are not the only one learning new things we are all students in this life. He pats me on the back lets head out to class. He knows that you never thank someone for the gift of a sharp blade he makes a mental note to talk to Terry before his Ra gives the sword and knifes to her. When do you plan to give Terry the blades?

As soon as you wish her to use live steel Sansei.

Soon then he tells me looking out into the future with a blank face. You three will start working with the practice blades next week I will make sure they are here by then even if I have to make them myself.

My two friends look at us as we come back to the sally without the bundle puzzled looks on their faces no one knows about the knifes but Sansei and Val. Soon I am working them so hard they both forget about them till dinner that night.

As he predicted the swords were ready and a week later the long knifes were done. we had been working with the swords for five weeks now and I was picking it up very fast. I was as good as Terry and she had five years with the sword. char looked like a clumsy child at play in comparison to me. I could see the look of determination on her face at class both my friends were working much harder after seeing my meteoric rise. Sansei rubbed the class's noise in how fast I picked it up.

Sansei brought in an expert with throwing knifes telling the class he didn't want to teach me any bad habits. He was a strange man non-descript but his hands blurred and his knifes always found their marks. He never gave me his name so I just called him teacher I only had one Sansei. He worked with me for six weeks and just like that he was gone.

Things went along time passed and it was almost the 4th of July or as close as I could tell in this world the year was slightly shorter only 338 days a year. I had spent some time figuring out the proper date with Terry and Char and then told Herald Halt the corresponding day. Everyone thought I was working off a different calendar they just didn't know how different.

The door slams open and my two best friends come rushing in a candle in char's hand Happy Birthday they both yell in a soft whisper it is still a candle mark before I get up every day. False dawn is just starting as they pull the blanket off me. It just so happened that my birthday fell on a rest day this year I had my suspicions they fudged the days a bit but how was I to know I figured in my mind it will always be the 4th and that's all that mattered to me.

Come on get up Del and Kyle will be here before you know it. Terry and Char were proud of their selves somehow they talked Halt into spring me for the day.

Armed with my long knife and throwing knifes strapped on I took out my bag of gold Char's eyes almost popped out of her head as I counted out twenty pieces.

How much is in their?

Terry gives her a dirty look. That is none of our business Char.

Terry's father was a minor noble but Char's father was a hard working Cartwright what I had in that pouch was a small fortune to her. Looking at Char I told her that it was part of the moneys left to me from my family's sale of the farm.

Char looked a little distraught I'm sorry Ra I didn't mean to bring you down especially today.

I pat her arm, it's all good. Let's head out and get the four footers ready.

Del had suggested we leave the companions at the palace but I had told him that Val has as much right to a day out as me we were going for a nice long run to the farm that the crown maintained first then we would stop at the inn for lunch before hitting the shops on the way back. I had no intention of wasting one minuet of my jail brake.

We made it out of the gate just as the sun was coming up. The streets were empty all you heard was the chime of five companion's hooves hitting the cobblestones. As we cleared the gate Val broke into a cantor and the others joined in chase. There is nothing more graceful as a companion as they move threading between the few people and wagons in the street you could never do this unless it was so early in the morning. We made it to the outer gate in under a hour what took us almost five hours by wagon the first time I made the trip filled me with surprise the distance was not great it was the press of people that kept us to a crawl on the first trip.

 _Finally the outer gate, hold on Ra._

Val shot out of the gate like an arrow from a bow. Before I knew it we were going the fastest I have ever riding on Val my hair was steaming strait back. _Faster love go faster._

We started to pull away from the rest of the group only Griff was keeping pace. _Faster Val_ as I sent silent laughter to my sole brother.

I felt a strange pulling from the back of my eyes and Griff fell behind too.

I felt a tapping on my shield opening my door I hear Kyle's voice.

 _Ra slow down stop using your gift!_

 _What are you talking about?_ Val always listening in the background drops out of his gallop to a trot and the others soon catch up. The feeling in my head stops.

Kyle pulls up beside me. When did you start using your fetching gift?

Looking at him like he was crazy, what?

You were helping Val to move faster pulling him along not many have a gift that strong to be able to move all that weight for that long. Are you even tiered?

No I didn't think I was doing anything it felt like a slight tug on the back of my eyes but no pain.

Terry was shaking her head and Char mumbles, sounds about right only Ra.

Kyle was all set to head back and start working to see if this new development was a freak or my channel had opened up all the way.

No Del told him as he was getting all worked up. We have enough power to keep her in check if something should happen, no reason to ruining her first day out in a year.

As we were heading back from the farm with a few hard to get herbs for cook I looked at my best friend. _Are you having a good time?_

 _Every day is a good day if I can spend it with you Ra._

 _Well brother mine I have gold in my pocket and all the venders in front of us you tell me what to get lovely._

 _Can we get sugar cubes Ra?_

I stroke his neck. _Of course love. Ask your friends if they would like some too._

Four heads turn my way and their heads bob. Their Heralds eyes going blank as they all talk with their partners, Kyle laughs out loud that's very nice of you I just got an ear full on how I could be more considerate like Ra. You are making me look bad Selene thinks I take her for granted the first time you go out you gets gifts for Val I was reminded that she got a carrot after my first trip to the venders.

We pull up to the vender a man in an expensive tunic. Dismounting I move to negotiate. How much a pound?

He looks down on me with a haughty smile a silver trainee. He had learned that anyone in gray could be a prince or a theft however the ones in the custom grays tended to be the noble witch means the ones with moneys.

If I buy in bulk can you do better?

Looking at me with more concentration how much are we talking about?

I looked at Val _how many trainees and un-partnered companions do we have now?_

Val falls out of my link with him like when he is talking to other companions. _103 have trainees 30 have not yet gone on search._

Doing some quick math in my head one gold is worth twenty silvers I look at him, six gold for 150lbs.

The price should be seven gold ten silvers at the price he quoted me.

Seven gold five silvers he counters.

Smiling inward Six gold five silvers I watch his eye twitch.

He looks at the two heralds with a grimace then back at me a nine year old, seven gold.

Done, I will take five pounds now and you can deliver the rest to the companion's barn later today. I look at Del, who should he talk to?

Rolth is in charge of the barn.

He hands me the five bundles with twenty cubes in each I give them to my friends and look at Kyle, can you talk with Rolth and make sure each trainee gets a pound with the rest held for the unpaired. I would like to keep it anonymous most trainees cannot afford this just let them know that it was a gift from one of their number maybe it will inspire some of the high born trainees to do something similar.

Kyle looks at me. Del and I will talk to Rolth when we get back I am sure he will be happy to parcel out your gift however you know they will find out you have three of the biggest gossips in the field right here. Ross, Star, and Griff dropped their heads.

Val gave me a wink _it will be the worst kept secret in haven but they all will pretend they don't know._ His silver laugh plays in my head.

 _If I ask them not to say anything do you think it would help?_

Val shakes his head _sorry Ra one of them will slip that why Ross won't even try he knows unless its life or death he will just slip there are others in the field who will not stop until they find out who it is they will go to every companion and ask and as you know we can't lie mind to mind all they have to do is ask any evasion will only tighten the net until it comes out._

Fine I say out loud three companions look away not meeting my eyes. _I guess it's true no good deed goes unpunished._

 _HA HA HA_ Val is whinnying the other snort as he tells them what I said.

We made two more stops as Val chewed on his second treat. I bought ten lengths of died yarn and two knitting needles I had learned while in Afghanistan. Then we moved to the lining shop I was going to try my hand at needle work I had never tried it so I only got a few shades of white and grays some silvers and some very expensive gold with a yard of royal blue for a background. Two hoops 12in in diameter one fitting inside the other with clips to hold them together and a pack of needles.

The shadows were getting long and the day had flown by. Kyle is there an alums house on the way back to the gate?

The twain temple is just down the lane he points to a lovely temple with two statues one on each side of the double doors.

I pull my money purse out when we get to the steps I look at my friends. This will only take a quarter mark as I get off Val and walk up the stairs. I can feel Val in the back of my head radiating pride and love at me. The right hand door is open and I step in it is like my church back home high sweeping vaulted ceilings with columns and sweeping arches. An alter at the far end but no benches or chairs the floor was worn smooth from years of walking and kneeling. A priest stands at the step of the deist talking to an old woman. I step up and wait ten feet away giving them some privacy a few moment later the priestess lays her hands on her head and the grandmother shuffles passed giving me a smile and a head bob. I smile back and bob my head no words are needed there is a certain peace about the moment we share.

How may I be of help trainee?

Who do I see about giving a gift to the poor? I would like the moneys to go to the young children in need, young mothers things like that.

She smiles and bows her head. Of course I will make sure that it is spent properly. she looked down on me with my worn grays and thought I was giving a silver or two. I was only nine after all not many would think to help others at that age she thought it was some moneys saved.

I had spent twelve gold eight silvers for my day out I had bought lunch, the herbs, sugar, a gold to the street performer his tumbling was unbelievable, and of course my art supplies. I handed her seven gold twelve silvers.

What is your name trainee?

Raven sister.

This will help many people it will fund a soup kitchen for two months in the poor quarter.

May I ask your name sister?

Sister Gray. She reaches out and puts her hands on my head. May the twain keep you in their hands may his sword guard you and her shield protect you. As she finished she raises her head and opened her eyes she lets out a gasp a slight glow had surrounded us then fades.

May I ask a small favor sister?

Still in shock she nods her head.

Can you visit me at the collage they don't let me out very much this was the first time in a year and I don't know when I will be permitted to venture out again.

I will come the next feast day and we can pray together there is a small temple on the grounds I will talk with your dean. She puts her arm around my shoulder and walks me to the door looking out she sees my friends looking at Kyle as the eldest; you have a very special young woman here.

Kyle looks at me and smiles, she was chosen are you that surprised?

Sister Gray smiles, not really she gives me a squeeze and pushes me to Val.

 _That was well done sister Val sends me a warm embrace._

 _What else was I going to do with it put it back in the sack?_

 _Now that you know how far that money will go we both know you will be giving sister Gray more or you would not have asked her to come see you._

 _We'll see maybe I just want to pray have you thought of that?_

With a smile in his voice _first time this year._

 _She is a good person I could tell._

 _I would hope so Ra she is the high priestess_

I rub the back of my head as Kyle pulls up beside me _of course she is._

How much did you give her Ra he asked in a low voice? Normally he would never ask however he was dealing with a nine year old who he assumed never handled money before.

I look at him and knock on his door in his mind. _It was my money and I can do as I please._ Then less forceful _it will keep a soup kitchen open for two months._

 _As you say it is your money_ he felt a twinge of guilt a nine year old gave more to the needy in one day than he gave all year. _Maybe I could help a little more._

I smile at him. _I am going to raise moneys for blankets for midwinter Sister Gary is going to help._

 _Does she know that?_

 _No but I'm sure she will help I know I can't ask the nobles but I can talk with my fellow trainees._

We pull up to the stables and dismount come on Del let's Talk with Rolth.

They walk away whispering and Terry comes over with Char.

You gave it all to the sister Char asked in a low voice.

I look at her strange.

Ross told me she gives a shrug. He really can't keep anything from me then she smiles at me a little timidly. To be fair Val was glowing with pride about it he was leaking all over. I even caught some of the words he sent you and I am the weakest mind speaker out of the five of us.

Terry nodded, I heard a lot more and left it at that looking at the now empty purse.

I shrug as we head in to groom our best friends.


	8. Chapter 8

what do you think hope to see some feed back

* * *

sweets

I pull the saddle off and rack his gear he leans into the brush strokes. _Can I have another piece of sugar before you go?_

The merchant had delivered while we had finished shopping and talking to Sister Gray.

 _One more but when it's gone it's gone the rest is for the others the little extra I will have Rolth keep for the injured, Herald or companion. One hurt both hurt._

Val nudged my arm _we can save it for later my friends haven't had any yet._

 _What you say you go round up the unpaired and I will get 30 pieces from Rolth._

His head picks up _ok love, it won't take long._

Terry and Char had that faraway look then they smiled. We'll help and with that.

I went over to see the stable master.

They lined up in three lines the babies prancing around for some this would be the first taste of sugar their mothers looking on with love even thought they were not getting any. I felt a little bad about it but Terry reminded me that they had heralds of their own. She was sure they were going to get an ear full come morning.

That sugar merchant is going to make a killing Char laughs as she rubs the noise of filly only a few weeks old all the companions watching as she whinnies her lips smacking her eyes bright everyone in the stables hears her ask _mommy can I have more_.

Her dam snorts. Char pats her neck, sweet thing it is a special treat only once in a while to much will give you a tummy ache.

She looks at her dam _like to much water after running mommy?_

It was just too cute we had drawn a crowd many trainees had heard rather loudly about their gift at the stable and Rolth had been busy giving out the gift a soft aw was heard from everyone with mind speech as the dam put her neck on her baby and in a rule braking moment _that's right velvet now thank Ra and we'll go._

Liquid blue eyes look up at me _Thankyou Ra for my sweetie._

You're quite welcome Velvet. She prances over to her mother you could hear a pin drop as their hooves chime on the path.

Looking up I see Rollin he nods his head and walks back to the field following the dam and Velvet rules are rules and even a baby has to learn I don't think dam or filly will be in much trouble some things are just to dang cute.

It was a good birth day thank you for sharing it with me Terry, Char.

Terry puts her arm around my neck. I know we can't take the place of your family but I love you your my sister my friend. Char reaches over and hugs my waist. We walk back like that to the dorms. Some kind sole had brought my packages to my room while we were giving out the treats.

We head to the track just before dawn Char her eyes half closed as we finish the first mile Terry comes up beside me. Their staring at us.

Who ? I tend to have tunnel vision when I run looking in not out.

The companions, all of them. She looks left and right their heads following us as we move through the field.

A little filly comes up on the other side of me. _Hi Ra can I play to?_

Velvet's voice came in the same place as Val's just not as deep privet but right on the surface. I was kinda at a loss I could feel Val's laughter in the back of my head but he was keeping his own console. _Does your mommy know you are playing with me?_

 _Yes Yes we run have fun?_

 _Ok sweetie but we can't run as fast as you._

She matched me foot for foot keeping her speed right with me. Char told me later that Velvet's head stayed next to mine the whole way.

Rounding the last lap with my group of early runners I see Kyle waiting a small group of heralds with him.

 _Fun Ra, we play tomorrow?_

I stoke her neck _I had a very good time Velvet I would love to play tomorrow._

She took off like a shot heading back to her mommy little hoofs flying she gets there and she roles in the grass telling mommy about her friend.

I feel a slight tap on my door _your classes have been canceled we will be learning gift control for the next few weeks everything but arms practice once I wear you out mentally Herald Barth will do the same physically._

I look at him in horror _what em em WHAT!_

 _You need to get a handle on that fetching most of the time we just clamp down on it and wait till we have five or six to teach that won't work with you. Your gift is to strong._

Looking at my group, I guess I will see you guys later at the sally. It seems Herald Kyle has my day planned for me.

Val snorts _don't worry Ra I'll be right there with you._

I feel my fear diminishes. _Thanks love._

Terry smiles at me. Suck it up, my friends tell me it's a lot of fun you could be like me and have forsight.

Char shuttered; no thanks. She had seen Terry's fits losing complete control of her body being totally at the mercy of anyone that is there at the time. You can have that burden to bear. I'm happy with farsight thank you very much.

Hey the mage gift makes up for it I am learning all kinds of cool stuff. Just wait till you need me to gate you somewhere Terry bumps Char's shoulder.

I bump the other side of her. If she says no come see me after I learn I'll do it.

Kyle looks on with a smile. Sometime today trainee I have better things to do than stand here listening to this.

Kyle led me to one of the towers to a room I had never seen. As I passed the doorway all the background noise fell away. There were no windows or other doors the walls were bare. The only thing in the room was a table with a bunch of objects on it and two chairs.

This is a work room it is shielded to contain uncontrolled uses of gifts. After you are trained in your mage gift it will be part of your training to add to the shields some of the power here has gone back hundreds of years the more powerful a mage is the longer they last Heralds have been known to get a taste for wont of a better word of many different powers. I tell you this because with your gifts you may feel like someone is looking over your shoulder. Kyle looks at me and smiles.

He motions to the chair closes to us and move around the table and sits down. On the table I see a feather, a set of dice, a 4in ball, and a book.

Ok Ra I want you to remember that slight pull you felt yesterday when you were riding Val that pulling feeling. Look at the feather and try to pull it to you.

Val always in the back of my head helps me see what he means I look at the feather and it flies to my hand.

Kyle's eyes open wide however he shows no other sine of surprise. That's what makes him such a good gift teacher he never gets the student uncomfortable. Good job Ra let's move on to the dice can you lift them off the table about a foot and hold them there?

I put the feather back on the table and looked at the dice they both lift up and stop.

Kyle waits a minute than speaks Are they getting heavy?

I look at him taking my eyes off the dice but they remain right where I held them. No not really it's like listening to Val I just put it in the back of my mind.

Can you roll the ball and keep the dice in the air? He no sooner says this as the ball moves toward him. He stops the ball and puts it back. Can you lift it up with the dice and keep them up there?

I lift the ball up and move it next to the dice it hovers there. How's that?

He has a slight tick in his eye. That good Ra. He looks at the book surly not he thinks to himself. Can you lift the book too?

The book leaves the table and I wait, he just stairs at them. Kyle do you want me to keep them up there?

Are they getting heavy he ask all most hoping I say yes.

No just thought we would be doing more.

We had only been in there for about an hour and Kyle was at a loss most first timers moved the feather making it rock a very few can rock the dice this was crazy.

Can you move the ball around the book and dice in a figure eight while keeping the others still?

I looked at the ball lifting it was no problem moving it and holding the other things were a little harder. The ball pasted under the book around and back to the dice going under around and back to the book again after a few passes I look up while it keeps moving. How's that?

Ok let's put everything down now. The book and dice lowered to the table and the ball came to rest just a few seconds later. How do you feel?

Fine what's next?

Let's stop for today I want you to take it easy for the rest of the day you can talk with Val but keep it to him rest your mind it could hit you at any time. I had some backlash tea put in your room if you need it. Remember no practicing on your own only with a Herald.

Kyle closed the door and headed to the dean's office.

Sharece looks up as someone knocks on the door. Yes.

Kyle walks in shaking his head. He plops down on one of the chairs at the window looking off into nothing.

She gets up from her desk and hobbles over easing herself into the chair. That bad?

He shakes himself looking at her. You have no idea. She was doing things that most students never do some Heralds can't do she held four things in the air and move one in a figure eight and asked me what was next.

Sharece looked thoughtful; let's see how much she can lift. Push her to a reaction headache.

Kyle looks shocked. On purpose?

She needs to know how it feels to over extend. let the healers know it could turn ugly she may pass out. She could go too far make sure Val knows what is going on. Have Halt talk to Roland to make sure Val keeps quite about what is going to happen.

Is it right to set her up like this Kyle asks looking unsure at the Dean.

We have to gage her and she needs to know the price we pay for going too far. Better she finds out now instead of out there where she is alone.

I had left Kyle and headed to my room I felt fine so I grabbed my books and headed to class I only missed my law class no great loss. _I heard that Ra._

 _I have a hard time listing to Herald Dath he puts me to sleep I try but._

I hear him laugh _he hates teaching that class but the Herald that normally teaches it broke his leg so Dath was drafted. Believe me he wishes he was anywhere else. Try to help him engage him in class it will make for a better time for both of you. Ask your class mates to help out who knows you all might come away with something worth wile._

 _I'll try love I have to pay attention now lessen for me so we can discuss later?_

Val got side tracked as his father was laying down the law about tomorrow.

Riding was her last class for the day she brushed Val as she felt a push on her back. _Hi Ra can I have a sweet?_

Hi velvet I rub her neck and look over at her Dam. You have to ask your mother.

 _Please mommy!_

She shakes her head no and velvet's head drops. It seems that she has picked me as her friend. I rub the top of her head. How about I brush you instead?

 _Ok Ra_ prancing in place likes a puppy.

After I finished I slipped her a carrot her mother rolled her eyes but let it go.

Val nudged me as they left _she will never lessen to dad now at least when it comes to you we all tried to explain how we only talk to own Herald. She told us she is making an exception for you. Dad was at a loss for words his youngest telling him no. I hate to admit it but wow I wish I had her pluck._

Velvet was at the track as we got there _time to play Ra!_

 _Hello sweetie your older brother told me that your dad tried to explain that you are only supposed to talk to your herald when you choose?_

I hear both tinkling and deep laughter in my head. _You're not being very helpful Val._

 _Velvet laughs again, Valy knows your my friend I told daddy I was talking to my special friend she loves me._

I almost lost my step as we were running at the same time. She told me about her day after she left with her mom last night. I thought I got up early but velvet had a race with her friend Falcin a young colt just under a year she told me she won. She chased a bunny and had some oats for breakfast. As we rounded the last turn I spied Kyle. I looked at velvet _I have to go to school now._

 _What's school Ra?_

 _Why don't you ask your mommy?_

 _Ok Ra can I come see you after you and Val play tonight?_

 _If your mommy can bring you ok sweety?_

 _Bye_ she runs back to her mother all excited her tail high her eyes bright.

 _Her mother is looking daggers at you Ra it will take her candle marks to get velvet to calm down._

 _You thought it was so funny you can field her thoughts._ Feeling smug that would teach him to laugh at her.

See you guys tomorrow I look to Kyle are we going back to the workroom?

I have something else in mind today some other people will be meeting us there.

I followed him as we headed toward the stables. _Val what's going on?_

 _I can't tell you father made me promise I'm sorry._

I felt a little upset _I thought we don't keep secrets from each other._

I could feel how upset he was _I'm sorry Ra._

I turned the corner and a group of people and companions where standing there at the forge.

Holt, Sharece, Patty and their companions. Val looked daggers at his father and in a voice everyone there could hear _I will never keep anything from my companion again I don't care what any of you say or think._ Everyone just stared at Val I walked over and hugged him in a clear strong voice I told him he was forgiven and to keep his word this one time we can talk about it later. His death glare fell on the three heralds' only lighting up as he looked at Patty.

Rollin looked like he was chewing his son out Val just turned his back and then whipped back around to stare lasers at him Y _OU CAN NOT TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT TELL MY CHOSEN._

Everyone winced after that Val refused to look at his father putting his neck on my shoulder he was shaking he was so mad.

Kyle looked at Holt he was in a deep talk with his chosen let's get this over with giving Val a look that told him he was sorry.

Kyle brought me over to a pile of bar stock five in by five in by five feet long ten pieces each one hundred pounds apiece.

I want you to try to lift one of these up to waste height RA.

I looked at Val he was looking at the ground. I looked at the piece of steel I knew how much it weight dad had let me try to move one before. I felt the pull behind my eyes as the bar lifted up. I saw the look of surprise on everyone's faces except Kyle's.

Can you keep it there and lift another one he asked me?

We were on the sixth one and I was starting to sweat. I was on the last one when my head was starting to throb.

I want you to keep them there as long as you can Ra.

Almost an hour had passed as I let out a grown and passed out. Holt and Kyle made to move toward my body it was weird it was like I was seeing with Val's eyes.

Val blocked there path only letting Patty by all there knowing not to push him right now even his father backed up a little.

Go get me some help don't just stand there. Patty looked daggers at them stupid fools Val should kick the three of you into next week. Val looks at her. Patty reached up and patted his neck I'll see her right you can sit with her I had your room at healers ready I knew it was going to be bad.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Pain like none I have ever had as I tried to open my eyes.

 _Ra are you ok?_

Gronning I close my eyes, Val don't my head. He puts his head in my lap and I try to move my hand. Blazing pain erupts and bright lights flash across my closed eyes. Maybe I should just stay still. Someone has put me in a dark room with a candle hidden so very little light is seen it is almost too much but I can keep my eyes open as they water. I feel a breeze as if a door is opening as I look in the direction of the air flow I see the outline of a blanket the light illuminating around the edges. Someone has hung blankets to make it dark. In the dim light I see Patty appear. Shit how long have I been here?

Patty helps me sit up and holds a drink to my lips.

Drink it all it taste like piss but it will help with the pain. You have been out for three days with that stunt they cooked up I should file charges against all of them. I think the king may take a dim view on their teaching practices.

I can see the fire in Val and Patty's eyes. The foul brew did one good thing it moistened my lips and throat. Who do you file the complaint with I whisper to them, my head pounds as I force the words out.

Patty shakes her head. Any of the three ideates that hurt you that's my problem the only person left is the king that's why I waited to talk with you first they know that they went too far they could have told you to stop before you passed out they assumed you would stop before then. Master Barth was ripping them up as we were putting you on the stretcher. He was all for formal charges being filed against them but I talked him down until you could be told.

What will happen to the king's own, dean, and Kyle?

The king knows what happened but if you file charges against them he will have to formally bring them before the high counsel. That could be awkward as all three sit on it. The nobles are chomping at the bit hoping you are mad enough to file. He has asked to visit you as soon as I think you are up to it.

Me? The king wants to see me? I look to Val but he is quite in my mind knowing that it will hurt me to talk. I guess you should let him know I'm awake.

She pats my shoulder and stands up walking behind the curtain I feel the slight draft again and see the light around the edges of the blanket again. Well Love I guess we get to talk to the king. Val just snorts. This not talking sucks. Now I know how the heralds without mindspeech feel. Blink once for yes twice for no ok. Val blinks once. Do you think the king will come right away? Val in contact with Baily the king's companion knew they were on their way blinked once. We sat there for a while waiting for a king I had meet once, and then only to be presented as a newly chosen. Now we were going to have a serious discussion about three of his closes friends. The light and the draft happened again and I braced myself for the visit. In the dim light he looked different than in the throne room. He was tall 6'3" with a beard and mustache young around 25 or so newly married. He was in great shape but then all heralds are. He pulled the chair that Patty had at my head a little, so we could see eye to eye.

How are you doing Ra?

Clearing my voice I croak out an OK.

He looks at me with pity I don't know it but I look like someone has beaten me too within an inch of my life. Ra what happened to you is unforgivable. I have spoken to all involved and have made it clear that this is never to happen ever again. Your friends Patty and Barth have made their position very clear to them also, and have agreed to let you make the choice of formal charges. I will of course hear you in counsel however I would ask you not to pursue it. I know they all feel horrible about this and are eager to see you to apologize. Kyle was so mad he refuses to speak with Holt and Sharece saying he was against this from the start and should have stopped it.

I looked at Val and he blinked once after a long pause. Alright your majesty no charges.

He smiles at me my friends call me Tolen and I think we will be great friends Ra.

I smile back, I think so to Tolen.

I'll let you rest. He pats my hand and stands to leave.

I smile thank you for coming.

As he leaves my eyes are getting heavy it was all I could do to stay awake for Tolen.

I open my eyes and the blanket covering the door and window are gone. I squint in the early morning light.

 _RA?_

Pain flows around me but it is much better than before it only feels like getting hit in the head with a baseball bat. _Hi love I missed you._

 _Oh Ra I was so worried I was so mad at Sharece I almost bit her Saymo nudged her aside or I would have had her._

 _Val!_

 _Don't Val me she was the one that thought this train wreck up._

 _We will hear her out first before you try anymore of that._

 _I don't know what she can say to make me let this go. Dad and I are not on speaking terms right now. Me and velvet are in agreement dad should have known better._

 _Velvet knows?_

 _She is fearless when you were not there to play she asked her mother Jade were you were. Jade put her off for a day but that little filly is smart and determined. She found out and proceeded to gallop to dad. I was told that she lit into him in front of the entire herd. She is determined to get in here and see if you are ok. I told her I would let her know when you were up for a visit._

 _Val Do you think I did the right thing about all this I could tell you had some misgivings._

 _Yes you did the right thing. If it was up to me we should have kicked them in the head that's what they did to you. But no good would come of bringing this in front of the counsel. It just put Tolen in a tuff spot and nothing would change. He can't discharge them they don't have lands to take they have no great wealth so you will not get a suffering tariff._

 _I don't need any more money Val I don't know what to spend it on now._

 _It's the principle Ra I know they feel bad but what they did was so wrong. An apology will make them feel better but what's it do for you?_

 _To ere is human to forgive divine, I am not a god but I can strive to be the best me. I have seen hate up close I don't need it inside of me._

Patty came and fussed over me letting Val out to eat and take care of business it was almost like Sharece was waiting for Val to leave ten minutes later I hear a knock on the door.

The dean hobbles in and sits on the chair. I look at her and remember what Val told me about it being her idea. _Ra what is she doing there? You tell her to come back when I am there._

 _Val stop you can listen in from there I don't think it would be a good idea to have the two of you in a room anytime soon._

 _I don't like it Ra she waited till I left she is shifty. Saymo is not much better I will have words with her after the dean leaves._

 _Don't fly off the handle with her Val let her tell you her side first promise me._

The dean clears her throat bring me back from my talk with Val. I insisted that I talk with you first as I feel I have the most to apologize for. After hearing how well you did in your first class with Kyle I thought that you would try and fail to lift the first bar, that you would give up and we would go from there. I never foresaw you lifting seven bars never mind holding them for almost an hour and passing out. She looks down, Master Barth reminded me that if I had talked with him he could have told me you would go till you passed out. I never thought it would go so far I thought you would feel the pain and drop them and have a mild reaction headache.

I looked at her, you always give 100% in any training in a way, you helped me to see the outer limits of my gift Dean.

Still looking at her hands, it was still wrong; we could have stopped when we saw the sweat pour off you. When you started to shake, how many warnings did we have to see before stopping a very bad idea? All I can say was at the time I was so shocked I was at a loss, you may be the strongest fetcher we have ever trained I am looking in the archives to find out. The others will try to take more of the blame for my bad idea, I hope you will not let them and if you wish to press charges I ask you only name me they preceded on my say so.

Val was spitting nails _how big of her I should kick her in the head so she feels like you do right now! So noble taking all the blame the only one who tried to stop it was Patty and me and I was told to stand down by the heard master._ The last was thought with quit a lot of heat he was not his father at the moment. I try to soothe him but he comes right back and brakes a rule so the Dean can hear him to. _Going after you because they have no one to answer to Ra it is the act of cowards._ She flinched at that and I could feel Val going at it with her companion.

Unsure how to answer Val's thoughts she shrinks in on herself more, seeing a valid point did she let it go knowing no parent would come complaining or pressing charges. She stands "all I can do is say how wrong I was and how sorry I am the rest is up to you Raven. With that she walked out I was still trying to figure out what to say to her as she left not wishing to blow up before looking at all the sides.

Holt was next a few hours later looking put out as if I had done something wrong. Val made sure he was here this time with velvet outside staring holes through her father. He sits down with a sigh. The dean came to me after your talk wishing to resign her post stating she was unfit to be in charge of young people.

Val broadcasts _Good that's something I agree with!_ and with that we are off, his father thunders to all of us _ENOUGH I also let this happen and young one you have to let it go so we can all move on and Val no more talking to any other than your chosen._

Now I am getting mad he made it sound like I am the one fucking up here. I snap _listen asshole I will not feel like this is my fault or let you bully your son because you can't admit you all fucked up big time and could have killed me, someone who put their trust in her teachers not to hurt her while learning._ That's when everyone found out how powerful a mind speaker I was we were told later a herald two towns over heard me like I was sitting next to her. Holt's face blanched and he beat a hasty retreat.

Patty came in patted me on the head. You don't take any shit from any of them honey at least the Dean apologized more than the king's own did. Your right Ra it was an Asshole move he tried to pull.

After making sure I was all right after my little outburst Patty left letting little Velvet inside. _Ra are you still sick? Valy and I are so mad at daddy. Will you be able to run with me again?_ She asked in rapid order not waiting for an answer.

I smile I feel much better. You and Val should forgive your father.

I hear a snort from Val _NOT IN THIS LIFE TIME!_

I let it go as he made sure Velvet didn't hear. I hope we can run again soon hun I miss our special time together too.

She picks a bag off the ground with her lips dropping it on my bed I hear a rattle inside the small bag. _Mommy only lets me have my treats once a week I want you to have my next four ones to help you feel better. I asked mommy if it would be ok they make me feel happy when I have them and I want you to feel happy again too._

I can feel the pride coming off Val for the selfless act she has made. Oh honey thank you. Thinking fast I send a burst to Val _will Jade mind if I give her one?_

 _No love she thinks it's a fine idea she was so proud of her little filly._

I think we should all have a piece right now as it is my gift and I wish to share it with my two best friends. Velvet almost shakes in excitement and whinnies a bit too loudly.

Patty pops her head in looking at Velvet. None of that young miss we had a talk you'll remember about keeping it down.

Velvet drops her head but remembers not to talk at the healer she may be mad at daddy but she gave her word she would only talk with her special friend. _Ra can you tell Miss Patty I am sorry, I forgot._

She had put her head on my legs when Patty laid in to her. Rubbing her nose I looked at the healer, Velvet would like you to know she is sorry she forgot.

Patty rubs behind her ear, that's all right little one. But one more time and out you go alright?

A head bob is the only thing she can do to agree.

I open the bag after Patty leaves and see the 4 cubes taking one out I hold it for velvet as she lips it off my palm. Looking at Val he shakes his head he has no wish to eat his sisters treats but I will have to have one or it will look like I didn't appreciate her gift. I pop one in and smile at the little filly. I feel much better. With that she lips my hair then goes out to her waiting mother.

Kyle was the last to come by I could see the depth this had plunged him too. Of the three he was the most contrite.

Ra I was wrong. I can never forgive myself for what I let happen to you.

Val looked on, burning holes into his head, nodding as the "teacher" tried to find the words to express how much he regrets his actions.

I looked at him and of the three I saw something, true remorse.

I forgive you Kyle. I tell him in a small voice. You tried to get them to stop before we started I heard you with the dean.

 _RA no, don't let him off just like that! He could have stopped it. I tried but you don't know how much power my father has over us he held me still as a statue and blocked my voice to you. for that it will be a cold day in hell before I talk with him again. And after that shitty apology from his companion they can both go to hell._

 _No love don't you see letting it go will heal both Kyle and me. I will not waste any energy on an activity that is so negative. Better to talk it out and leave it on the side of the road than drag that much baggage for the next 20-30+ years._

He rolls his eyes but lets it go. Kyle waits knowing we are talking.

A tear falls down his cheek as he sees I am back, Not hard enough. I knew better I have seen the damage that too much strain can cause. My year mate passed trying to do the impossible going beyond her gifts to save a village. She saved most but not all before she fell she wasted away little by little never waking up her Albet fading away with her. It was a harsh long death.

I look him in the eye. Never let another stop you from doing what you know is right again, if you feel it in your bones it is wrong don't stand down. Do this and all is forgiven. But make no mistake I know someday I may have to make the hard choice as long as I know what the price is it will be my choice to pay it or not. Not yours, not Holt's, and not the Dean's. Sometimes we forget we are fallible beings we make life and death decisions while on circuit and need these little reminders to bring us back home.

With that he sobs and if anyone would have looked in they would have seen a 9 year-old holding a grown man.

Terry and Charr stopped by the next day. We had to wait our turn your doctor was limiting how many people you could see and for how long we got pushed down a bit by the mucky mucks charr told me with a smile.

Terry smiled at us both, the rumors are flying you were attacked by blood mages, the bear finally snapped, Kyle blew you up in class. All anyone is sure about is there is a lot of very higher ups walking on egg shells.

Val sends me a tight burst. _The king has put a gag order on the whole affair. Seems to think it would hurt the circle if this got out and you are not filing open charges. I still wish we could but…_

 _Let it go love. How is this staying secret?_

 _When my father and the king agree on something you would be surprised how we can all keep our mouths shut they all heard you're out burst but without the context no one knows what happened only that you are displeased with Holt and father._

I look at my friends, let it go guys, I have, time to move on the less said the better.

I was stuck here for 2 weeks I would black out at random times without any warning. My mussels would cramp hard bringing tears to my eyes. Patty told me it was one of the worse cases of back-lash she had ever treated. Kyle was almost glued to my door ready to run any errand. Sharece came every day much to Val's disgust. She brought books from her privet collection things she thought I might enjoy, reading to me and Val as he would not leave me alone with her. Holt wisely stayed away not wishing to get another dressing down broadcast for 80 miles in every direction. Sansei stopped by every day after classes going over the progress of our group and looking forward to seeing Halt in his upcoming weapons class.

At last the day was here my girls came over after class to help me move my shit back to my room you would be surprised how much shit you can acquire in just 2 weeks.

Remember light duty Patty scolds me. I hear you are over doing it and I will drag you back here by your ear you mark me. Looking me in the eye till I give her a smile and a nod letting her know I heard her.

Truth to tell the short walk with the limited amount Terry and Charr let me carry almost wiped me out.

As the door to my room closes Charr tries again. So… you know Terry and I would never tell a living sole…. If you need to like get things off your chest.

Let it go for gods sake, Terry almost yells. The king and circle have asked for it to be dropped Ra is not going to tell you, me, or anyone.

I smile at my friends, tell what? I ask sitting down my legs shaking.

Charr throws up her hands FINE. Then mutters, just trying to help.

I may have gotten out of healers but I still had a long way to go to get back to where I was before that awful day.


	10. Chapter 10

**Got some feed back about grammar and spelling errors, it's all good I just do this for fun the rats run in my head.**

 **I ask you to look the other way it's all on me I have had a few peeps offer to look it over thanks to bettyz53 and bookaddict but I think I will just chug along. hope you find some fun running with my little friends in my head. I hope you keep reading and let the things go that bother you looking forward to hearing from you.**

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Chapter 10

I was a mess. The least little thing would wear me out never mind running I could barely walk one lap of the track, after that mile I was wiped and limped home. Velvet stuck to me like glue. _Ra daddy is still a do-do head Valy and I am still mad at him._

Oh honey you should make up with him. I have let it go hon we may not see eye to eye but he has a hard job and sometimes even the best of us make mistakes.

 _Are you sure?_ She asked like I wasn't quite making sense to her limited knowledge of right and wrong. _Mama told me I should say sorry for yelling at daddy but she didn't tell me he did right by you._

I rub her neck we were at the door to the dorms. Sometimes we hold on to a hurt too long and when you let it go both of you will feel better. You should never yell at your mother and father so she is right you owe your dad an apology.

She dips her head _ok Ra_ _I'll go now._ Her hoofs drag as she heads to the field looking like she is being dragged by a rope one forced step at a time.

I shake my head and smile as I open the door and drag my ass to my room. I step into my room and look at my desk I should work on my courses but I just can't the bed is calling me. I have a bad feeling I will have to fight back to where I was before the mental kick in the head.

For the next week it's wash rinse and repeat I see a little improvement but it is so slight as to almost be missed. Terry and Charr dragged me to eat or I think I might have stayed in bed and slept. Only Terry's threats to tell Patty with the threat of having to go back to healers pried me from my blankets.

It was two weeks before Sansei let me back into the sally but only to watch.

"You will help with the classes pointing out wrong moves only Ra or I will ban you from my classes till that evil healer tells me you are 100%. Are we clear?"

I bow I had missed him and the blade work so much there was no way I would screw up. "Yes Sansei, watch and teach only."

I lasted 1 hour before he saw I was flagging and shipped me off making sure I was headed to my room to rest.

Val met me right outside of the sally doors. " _Velvet and father are on their way here. She made father promises to apologize to you and me for letting you get hurt. She told him it was his job to keep our chosen safe in haven and he did a bad job."_

I looked at him floored " _are you kidding me?"_

I see his eyes laughing " _she's a force, father was at a loss, she nailed it he had no high ground. Every companion in haven heard her, I swear he shrunk in on himself while she waited for him to explain how he was in the right."_

I look up and see my little friend with her father dragging his hoofs behind her a group of white watchers lurking just in sight of the whole train wreck about to happen.

" _Daddy"_ she looks to him waiting.

" _Ra I should have told you, I was wrong the first time my companion and I talked with you. You were right I had no right to speak to you in that manner. Velvet and Val have pointed out that you wellbeing should have been my top priority and we all failed you. You put your trust in us and we abused it. All I can do is promise it will never happen again we will learn from this and I hope you will someday be able to trust me again."_

I stood and let him have his say, looking at Velvet she was beaming at her daddy he made everything better now, her friend got better and father was sorry for hurting her.

I spoke out loud in a soft voice keeping things between the 4 of us. "Rollin, we all had a hand in this even me. I could have stopped and would have if I knew this would be the end result. That is what pissed me off the most you all knew what could happen all you had to tell me is to go till it hurt too much. I meant what I told Velvet no one benefits from holding on to any hurts. I accept your apology Rollin, your companion however has made sure to go out of his way to keep snubbing me believing he is still in the right. I would ask you to intercede for me. I spoke my mind at the time and will not be apologizing for that. However it should have been in privet mode other should not have heard our disagreements and for that I will apologize for."

Val shook his head but before he could disagree with me I put my hand on his shoulder. In privet I thought at Rollin " _you do however owe your son an apology. Holding him and blocking our bond so he was forced to stand and watch helpless was almost evil."_

I never knew what was said between father and son but after a few minutes he lightly bumped his son with his neck almost like a hug.

" _See daddy Ra was right everyone feels better when we don't stay mad."_

He looks at me and the rules are back in affect he nods at me and herds Velvet back toward her dam. " _By Ra mama told me we could go get one of my sweeties after our talk. Are you coming too daddy?"_ I just smile she includes me in all her conversations now. Rollin has given up stopping her. He would have better luck stopping the sun moving from east to west or stopping the world from turning.

Val asked if I would like to know what his father said I told him it was something between the two of them and only to tell me if he needed to talk it through. We were good, I was good with his father somethings should be kept privet. That was the problem with people they all thought they had a right to know everybody's business.

Like the gossips that they were everyone in the sally knew about our meeting and Charr was chopping at the bit to get out to me so she could get the scoop on what happened.

" _Do you want to wait for Terry and Charr or head back to your room and grab a few minutes before your first gift class with Kyle?"_

" _Let's go Val I don't need to rehash that conversation, you know Charr will grill me till I give it up. Maybe if I delay the inviable Terry can rain her in."_

I meet Kyle at the workroom the first time we worked on my gift of fetching. He stood outside the door looking down at his feet as if I was about to chew him out. "Morning Kyle" I tell him with a big smile as he draws his eyes from the floor to look me in the eyes.

"I want you to know we will be taking this slowly I'm not taking any chances of hurting you again, so soon after getting you back on your feet." He motions me into the room and I see the 4 objects on the table with two stools just like the first time. We worked for an hour and I found that it was so much easier than before.

Kyle looked at me "Too easy?"

"Ya it's hard to explain but the part of my mind that works this gift seem to have gotten bigger."

He nods "either your gift would have burned out or stretched. This means in a few weeks we could try that same test and you could lift more for longer. I would not do that on purposes but because of your young age and early gift opening I'm not surprised."

"Has this happened to any other heralds?"

He shakes his head "I only found one case and had to look almost 200 years back, his gifts matched yours closely and gateing ripped his gift open, a bit more harshly than yours. His gifts were passive not opening like yours."

I looked at him "what happened to him?"

He gives me a sad smile, "he became the greatest Herald Mage in our history."

Kyle walked me out locking the door it was not a good idea to leave a room with that much power open to the public. "Good work Ra I'll see you tomorrow at the same time." The smile he gives me reaches to his eyes this time. The hour we spent went a long way to loosening him back up too before my collapse.

I hear Val in my head he was a passive rider during the lesson. Most would not have been able to breach the shields on the work room but after the incident as Val calls it our bond is extra tight. The only thing Val considers a plus from that day, we can't shield from each other.

" _That went better than I thought it would. You don't seem to have any discomfort from using your gift."_

In my mind I can tell he is by the lake soaking up some sun. " _Thanks love I feel fine and Kyle seems to have gotten the stick out of his ass about me getting hurt. I think he finally believes me when I say I forgive him._

 _I finally let Winter off the hook you were right Rollin had gaged all of us to keep us from stopping you he also had words with father about that."_

" _Well enjoy the sun you lazy boy, I hear I get to put you through your passes soon and your life of idleness is almost at an end."_ A servant passes me as I have a smile on my face knowing I am having a conversation with my other half.

I hear his laughter as I walk into my room to work on my book work. I have no desire to slip from the top of my classes and next week I get to go back.


End file.
